25 Random Things That Parenthood, Age & Experience Have Taught Me

Parenthood, age and experience have taught me the best life lessons.  It doesn’t have to be perfect to be good. 

  1.  I can’t plan every little detail out. Instead I set attainable goals.  Life means sometimes my perfect planning will go ary. 
  2. I’ve lost my ability to whisper.  
  3. It’s easy to find Reislings to drink.  Oops I meant reasons.  I come from a long line of bad habits so I don’t keep it on hand.  I’d hate for my children to paint a picture of me holding a glass.  That’s not how I want them to remember me. 
  4. I like structure, order, neat and clean.  Now that I’m older I’ve realized my rigidity can cause severe eye twitching anxiety.  So I’ve created a chore board to get the kiddos engaged in helping me keep the house clean and I pay them well. 
  5. Secret signals fly over my head. I’m talkin’ I miss them like an idiot misses the point.  I don’t have time to play charades.  Just give it to me 
  6. Nature is one of the greatest healers.  
  7. Parenthood doesn’t come with a manual.  We all do the best we can with the knowledge and resources we have available to us.  Not a single one of us is a perfect parent. 
  8. I pray a lot. For everyone, even for the clients on my massage table.  Prayers of thanks and gratitude make me happy. 
  9. I love and appreciate my husband’s mind.  He’s got a big beautiful brain and a heart to match.  When you’re young, you take things like intelligence for granted.
  10. As long as I’m doing my absolute best at everything, I feel fulfilled and productive. 
  11. I admire all of the people that stay home to care for kids or work from home. I’m not one of them. I’m not strong enough to.  I believe that requires a special person with much self discipline.  
  12. Music is still one of the most powerful languages, escapes, motivators, and mood changers out there.  
  13. Being able to read nonverbal cues from others is a gift. 
  14. Although I love company, I crave to have my family alone. 
  15.  I really could survive in the wild out of the contents of my purse for at least a week.
  16. Time goes by so much faster the older you get. 
  17. Depression can happen to anyone. 
  18. Don’t collect things.  Collect love. 
  19. I now understand what my mother meant when she said “Now I know why some animals eat their young.”
  20. There are fallacies in using work as an escape. 
  21. The stresses of balancing family, kids, work, school and spouses are real.  Just because it seems under control doesn’t mean it is. 
  22. A minimalist lifestyle is so much more appealing the older I get.  Seems like shedding years of weighted clutter is much more fulfilling than filling blank walls.
  23. Your sense of smell never lets you forget anything. 
  24. Children manipulate you way faster than you could ever manipulate them. 
  25. Life is too short to leave important words unsaid. 

I’d love to hear random tidbits from you

Letting Nature Heal. Pedernales Falls State Park.
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The Secrets Of Women Revealed 

  *Disclaimer like the famous Will Rogers once said “There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.”  I am by no means an expert on the inner workings of every woman. However I am a woman and I know that my husband struggles to understand me. I don’t speak for all women I only speak for the vast majority that I have come to know and understand to be friends of mine.  We like to sit and compare notes with one another on our down time because we have nothing better to do.  To the gentlemen reading this blog today, I’d like to make you aware that this may or may not be of use to you.  May God be on your side, good luck.

Me & Mrs Pacheco
Gruesome Twosome

Lesson 101: Men Feeling Like They Can’t Make Us Happy 

  • It’s not that you can’t make us happy it’s that you don’t listen and that makes us unhappy.  Believe it or not, we are delicate flowers, we only bite when we have to. 

Lesson 102: Asking What’s Taking So Long

  • Have you ever tried to shower, brush your teeth or even pee much less get dressed while being interrupted every 20 seconds only to stop what you’re doing to go help 4 members of your family look for shoes, belts, a shirt, a coat, shampoo, toothpaste, or a tie you’ve asked them to put away a gazillion times?  Try it. See how far you get and let us know if you didn’t forget to apply mascara or shave a leg. 

Lesson 103: You Think The Grass Is Greener On The Other Side

  • We’re all the same.  We all expect the same consideration we give.  If you believe otherwise you’ve got about as much chance as a one-legged man in an ass-kickin’ contest  at winning that one. 

Lesson 104: Make Us Swoon

  • Yes we want to continue to be wooed, not smothered but a little romance is nice.  Hold our hands but don’t invade our 18 inches of space it gets too hot. We’re older now, gotta mind those flashes. 
  • It’s only okay if we spoon you, your legs are heavy, you can’t spoon us. 

Lesson 105:  Make Us Laugh

  • Make us laugh but don’t be stupid or obnoxious, we’ll cut you. 

Lesson 106: Never Begin Any Sentence With My Mother….

  • We’ll make sure that’s where you end up. 

Lesson 107: Pay Close Attention To Detail 

  • This is and will always be your greatest investment.  Catch every little minuscule mention of something we love or of something we had as a child that meant the world to us. You’ll never go wrong as long you don’t get it wrong. Now if you bring home a gift your very first girlfriend mentioned she’d love to have…well, that’s goin’ over like a fart in church.  You better give your heart to Jesus, ’cause your ass is grass. 

Lesson 108: Learn What Each Traditional Anniversary Gift Should Be 

    • But don’t take this too literally. For example, at the fifth year it’s wood, or silverware. The colors are blue, pink and turquoise and the gemstone is sapphire.  Alternative gemstones are rose quartz, pink tourmaline and turquoise.  Don’t come home with a pile of wood or a package of silverware. Put some romantic thought into it.  Explain why you chose a particular gift.  And absolutely never have another woman help you choose a gift because there’s no fool like an old fool!

    Lesson 109: Take Genuine Interest In What We Do

    • Give us tips but don’t tell us how to do it unless we ask you to. 

    Lesson 110: Love Our Changing Bodies

    • We’re hardest on ourselves.  We’re afraid of the younger dumber models out there.  Genuinely compliment us.  Don’t overkill it, just mean it. 

    We need people in our lives with whom we can be as open as possible. To have real conversations with people may seem like such a simple, obvious suggestion, but it involves courage and risk. -Thomas Moore

        The ordinary acts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest. -Thomas Moore

        To my husband Mario, thank you for always listening even though you’re hard of hearing.  Although you know I run a tight ship at home you’ve always managed to reign me in when I’ve been running’ around like a chicken with my head cut off.  Thank you for always supporting me and my crazy ideas and going with the flow.  Thank you for trying your hardest to keep me happy when I’m not even sure what I want.  Your effort, humility and sense of humor when all is up in arms is greatly appreciated.  Even though the timing of your sexual nuances can sometimes make my eye twitch you somehow manage to make me laugh.  Thank you very much for never buying me household appliances for Birthday or Anniversary gifts and for never saying “Well, my mom..” I knew you were a keeper.  Thank you for using that big brain of yours for other things than just sex and football.  Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  To many more years. Happy Anniversary my love. 

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        My Little Texas Tornadoes 

        Kids are the best. Being a mom to a teenager and a toddler can only be described as the perfect combination of wanting to snuggle and understanding why some animals eat their young. Balance. Life is all about balance right? 

        We recently took my Mom in law and family to Fredericksburg, Tx. They’d never been and we decided to go at the spur of the moment. 

        The family members without kids enjoyed wine and beer tastings, I got to visit all of the children’s boutiques and could only window shop from 30 feet away for fear that my toddler had suddenly developed the ability to cut glass with her fingernails and melt fudge with the same eyes she uses to try to burn holes into me. 

        Her first chocolate crush

        So we swung by the candy shop because it’s frowned upon to always be the bad cop and outside they had a life sized M&M and a bench with lollipops attached with cut outs for your face. I said to my oldest “let’s take your picture!” She ran over and put her face in the hole. Then my little one ran towards the bench and  climbed up to sit in it. I said to her “Pumpkin, why don’t you put your face in the hole too?” 

        I spy a little Texas Tornado
         

        Apparently the one time she decided to listen I wasn’t specific enough.  I got some flack from people on Facebook for this.  Just some good old fashioned fun and teasing. I was thrilled she’d even followed through with my request that I didn’t care which way she was facing.  But I did get quite the tickle out of this. She’s quite the smart ass.  

        I’m sure she’s looking at the camera and smiling on the inside
        Remember these?
        Chocolate covered bacon
        Chocolate covered jalapeños & chocolate covered pickles
        My little Texas tornadoes

        It was a fun trip, my two Texas tornadoes. One testing her wind strength and the other doing all the damage possible whether her winds are strong or not. Two completely separate storms that come together to reign my powers of motherhood in and make me laugh at the fact that they have my snarky personality. I’m fighting my own reflection.  

        When the lights go down in the city
        “When God Created Mothers”

        When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of “overtime” when the angel appeared and said. “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.” 

        And God said, “Have you read the specs on this order?” She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts…all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands.” 

        The angel shook her head slowly and said. “Six pairs of hands…. no way.” 

        “It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” God remarked, “it’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.” 

        “That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel. 

        God nodded. “One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, ‘What are you kids doing in there?’ when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. ‘I understand and I love you’ without so much as uttering a word. 

        “God,” said the angel touching his sleeve gently, “Get some rest tomorrow….”

        “I can’t,” said God, “I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick…can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger…and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower.” 

        The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. “It’s too soft,” she sighed. 

        “But tough!” said God excitedly. “You can imagine what this mother can do or endure.”

        “Can it think?” 

        “Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise,” said the Creator. 

        Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. “There’s a leak,”she pronounced. “I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model.”

        “It’s not a leak,” said the Lord, “It’s a tear.”

        ” What’s it for? ” 

        “It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride.”

        “You are a genius, ” said the angel. 

        Somberly, God said, “I didn’t put it there.” 

        ― Erma Bombeck, When God Created Mothers

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