Rebel Without A Cause

 

Wild Woman

Have you ever felt like a rebel without a cause?  I’m talking, “I am woman hear me roar” rebellious.  More and more I’m finding myself to be more rebellious the older I get.  I’m not sure what’s happening here.  I’m finding that I’m challenging things that have been placed in front of me, questioning authority, pushing myself a little harder and not backing down for the sake of argument anymore.  I suppose it isn’t rebellion so much as growing up.  Although, most of the time it feels as though I’m rebelling.  Maybe, finding my voice; is a better choice of words.  I’m sure many would argue that, that has never been a problem for me.  I will agree that there was a point in my life where I had no filter on my mouth. There was no censoring of what I was feeling. I’m not sure why that stopped. Some would say that I matured, some that motherhood changed me.  Maybe it was a little of both. I remember at one point feeling that there was no use in stating what I felt because it fell on deaf ears.  Now, I feel like I should say it, whatever it is, for my own sanity; for the sake of not bottling things up, for the reason that I don’t want to return to feeling that what I say falls on deaf ears.  I’m not afraid of arguing anymore.  I’m not afraid to fight anymore.
I think of my grandmother a lot when I think about how my life is changing, about how I’m changing. I think about her wild spirit and how my grandfather always tried to tame her, to tame it.  Is this what happens with age?  With maturity?  We end up reverting back to the freest version of ourselves?  I should hope so.
Prayer of an Anonymous Abbess:

Lord, thou knowest better than myself that I am growing older and will soon be old. Keep me from becoming too talkative, and especially from the unfortunate habit of thinking that I must say something on every subject and at every opportunity.
Release me from the idea that I must straighten out other peoples’ affairs. With my immense treasure of experience and wisdom, it seems a pity not to let everybody partake of it. But thou knowest, Lord, that in the end I will need a few friends.
Keep me from the recital of endless details; give me wings to get to the point.

Grant me the patience to listen to the complaints of others; help me to endure them with charity. But seal my lips on my own aches and pains — they increase with the increasing years and my inclination to recount them is also increasing.

I will not ask thee for improved memory, only for a little more humility and less self-assurance when my own memory doesn’t agree with that of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I may be wrong.

Keep me reasonably gentle. I do not have the ambition to become a saint — it is so hard to live with some of them — but a harsh old person is one of the devil’s masterpieces.

Make me sympathetic without being sentimental, helpful but not bossy. Let me discover merits where I had not expected them, and talents in people whom I had not thought to possess any. And, Lord, give me the grace to tell them so.

Amen

by  Margot Benary-Isbert

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The Secrets Of Women Revealed 

  *Disclaimer like the famous Will Rogers once said “There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.”  I am by no means an expert on the inner workings of every woman. However I am a woman and I know that my husband struggles to understand me. I don’t speak for all women I only speak for the vast majority that I have come to know and understand to be friends of mine.  We like to sit and compare notes with one another on our down time because we have nothing better to do.  To the gentlemen reading this blog today, I’d like to make you aware that this may or may not be of use to you.  May God be on your side, good luck.

Me & Mrs Pacheco
Gruesome Twosome

Lesson 101: Men Feeling Like They Can’t Make Us Happy 

  • It’s not that you can’t make us happy it’s that you don’t listen and that makes us unhappy.  Believe it or not, we are delicate flowers, we only bite when we have to. 

Lesson 102: Asking What’s Taking So Long

  • Have you ever tried to shower, brush your teeth or even pee much less get dressed while being interrupted every 20 seconds only to stop what you’re doing to go help 4 members of your family look for shoes, belts, a shirt, a coat, shampoo, toothpaste, or a tie you’ve asked them to put away a gazillion times?  Try it. See how far you get and let us know if you didn’t forget to apply mascara or shave a leg. 

Lesson 103: You Think The Grass Is Greener On The Other Side

  • We’re all the same.  We all expect the same consideration we give.  If you believe otherwise you’ve got about as much chance as a one-legged man in an ass-kickin’ contest  at winning that one. 

Lesson 104: Make Us Swoon

  • Yes we want to continue to be wooed, not smothered but a little romance is nice.  Hold our hands but don’t invade our 18 inches of space it gets too hot. We’re older now, gotta mind those flashes. 
  • It’s only okay if we spoon you, your legs are heavy, you can’t spoon us. 

Lesson 105:  Make Us Laugh

  • Make us laugh but don’t be stupid or obnoxious, we’ll cut you. 

Lesson 106: Never Begin Any Sentence With My Mother….

  • We’ll make sure that’s where you end up. 

Lesson 107: Pay Close Attention To Detail 

  • This is and will always be your greatest investment.  Catch every little minuscule mention of something we love or of something we had as a child that meant the world to us. You’ll never go wrong as long you don’t get it wrong. Now if you bring home a gift your very first girlfriend mentioned she’d love to have…well, that’s goin’ over like a fart in church.  You better give your heart to Jesus, ’cause your ass is grass. 

Lesson 108: Learn What Each Traditional Anniversary Gift Should Be 

    • But don’t take this too literally. For example, at the fifth year it’s wood, or silverware. The colors are blue, pink and turquoise and the gemstone is sapphire.  Alternative gemstones are rose quartz, pink tourmaline and turquoise.  Don’t come home with a pile of wood or a package of silverware. Put some romantic thought into it.  Explain why you chose a particular gift.  And absolutely never have another woman help you choose a gift because there’s no fool like an old fool!

    Lesson 109: Take Genuine Interest In What We Do

    • Give us tips but don’t tell us how to do it unless we ask you to. 

    Lesson 110: Love Our Changing Bodies

    • We’re hardest on ourselves.  We’re afraid of the younger dumber models out there.  Genuinely compliment us.  Don’t overkill it, just mean it. 

    We need people in our lives with whom we can be as open as possible. To have real conversations with people may seem like such a simple, obvious suggestion, but it involves courage and risk. -Thomas Moore

        The ordinary acts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest. -Thomas Moore

        To my husband Mario, thank you for always listening even though you’re hard of hearing.  Although you know I run a tight ship at home you’ve always managed to reign me in when I’ve been running’ around like a chicken with my head cut off.  Thank you for always supporting me and my crazy ideas and going with the flow.  Thank you for trying your hardest to keep me happy when I’m not even sure what I want.  Your effort, humility and sense of humor when all is up in arms is greatly appreciated.  Even though the timing of your sexual nuances can sometimes make my eye twitch you somehow manage to make me laugh.  Thank you very much for never buying me household appliances for Birthday or Anniversary gifts and for never saying “Well, my mom..” I knew you were a keeper.  Thank you for using that big brain of yours for other things than just sex and football.  Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  To many more years. Happy Anniversary my love. 

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        Exchanges Of Energy: 

        I’ve been a licensed massage therapist for ten years now. In the beginning of my ten year journey energy work was not something I believed in. I was always aware that an exchange of energy occurred I just wasn’t paying much attention to it. My focus was on fixing things. 
        I loved the clinical side of massage. I loved seeing physical changes of manual manipulation of muscle tissue and fascia. I lived to see and hear what my clients felt and how I’d helped them regain strength and range of motion.  
        Although, I still love the clinical aspect of massage and what I bring to a persons life, I’ve learned that there is a special exchange of energy taking place through massage, through touch at all times. Whether it’s good or bad, exhilarating or draining its occurring. 
        When I was attending massage therapy school they had a prayer posted on the wall. It read, May all my clients feel God’s healing touch through my hands. It was something I never forgot, and continue to repeat to myself and over every client that I lay my hands on.
          I never ask whether or not they believe, I just say my prayer and sync my breathing along with theirs, I listen to the music and let their bodies talk to me and let me know what they need from me. I watch for nonverbal cues, fingers curling, breathing, muscle tension, fidgeting, etc…and make adjustments accordingly.

        Power Of Touch

        Recently, I was telling my husband that I’ve noticed a greater ability to communicate with clients nonverbally. I couldn’t put into words so I related an experience I’d had that day. 
        While working on a woman earlier that day, I could tell it had been a long time since she’d done anything nice for herself. She’d mentioned she was visiting with a friend who was going to be moving away. As I began the massage, I could sense she was going through a difficult time. Of course I didn’t say anything, I did what I always do, I said my prayer, I asked that she feel God’s healing touch through my hands and that she let whatever she was holding onto melt onto the table warmer and allow herself to open up and breathe. As I worked my way through her back, neck and shoulders I could feel it happening, I prayed my thanks. Suddenly, I heard the emotional release, a quiet sob, I kept working thankful she was letting go. By the time I finished with her fingertips of her second hand she said through a quiet sob “I don’t know how, but, you’ve changed my life. I felt it. I don’t know what you did, but, you have. I feel different. It’s a good change, I can feel it, what did you do?” I told her “I prayed you’d feel God’s healing touch through my hands, and that you’d let your stresses melt here and stay here.” Silence ensued by another quiet sob from time to time. By the time I was done, she looked different. Happier. Fulfilled. Changed. I knew she was going to be taking better care of herself. 

        Touch & Memory, Muscle Memory

        My hubby didn’t find it as hard to believe as I’d imagined. I’ve given him massages where he’s asked me what I’ve done differently or he’s said things like “That one was nurturing to the soul.” 
        I suppose I’m sharing this because I feel more attuned with myself, in essence harmonizing my energy has really assisted in the quality of nonverbal correspondence between me and my clients. Cultivating that exchange has also proven to be a very valuable and fulfilling experience for me as well and has added so much more of a satisfying productiveness to my days. 
        I love what I do. I always have. I love learning new techniques and incorporating them into different services based on a clients needs. It’s the ability we have as people to correspond with each other that has truly fascinated me. The transmission and exchange of energies that occurs in such an intimate setting and being allowed in to rejuvenate, restore and rehabilitate someone is something that brings me so much peace and gratification.  

        Reasons To Get Regular Massages

        • To improve your overall quality of life
        • Helps with depression & anxiety 
        • Helps with pain management 
        • Improves circulation 
        • Decreases and helps with stress
        • Improves range of motion & flexibility 
        • Enhances the bodies immunity 
        • Reduces cramping & spasms
        • Reduces migraine pain
        • Enhances sleep quality
        • Helps with post operative adhesions 
        • Helps with swelling 
        • Helps with back pain & muscle injury 
        • Stretch over used muscles
        • Lowers blood pressure 
        • Calms the nervous system
        • Increases tissue regeneration 
        • Improves red blood cell count
        • Decreases muscle deterioration 
        • Improves muscle tone
        • Improves posture
        • Reduces mental stress 
        • Provides a sense of health & well being. 

        Words to Inspire My Fellow Therapists

        • Often the hands will solve a mystery that the intellect has struggled with in vain. ~Carl Jung
        • Where the spirit does not work with the hand, there is no art. ~Leonardo da Vinci
        • A really intelligent man feels what other men only know. ~Baron de Montesquieu
        • Healing yourself is connected with healing others. ~ Yoko Ono
        • Our bodies communicate to us clearly and specifically, if we are willing to listen. ~Shakti Gawain
        • The real purpose of giving massage is to foster more depth of feeling for one another in order to bring out the love that often lies buried beneath the pain of everyday suffering.  ~Robert Calvert
        • On one level, massage actually has little to do with muscles and joints and hands and backs. It has to do with the person inside the body giving the massage and the person inside getting the massage. The real massage is the transmission of a message from the giver to the receiver and back again: and that message is likely to contain elements of gratitude, understanding, compassion and shared awareness.~ Steve Capellini 
        • The intention of touch is to create a therapeutic physiological event in the tissues of the patient, and the rationale underlying the technique is physiological, kinetic or mechanical in nature. From the patient’s point of view, the touch has its roots in non-verbal communication or communion. She does not experience the touch as merely a technique or procedure on her body tissues, it involves her self. She is being held, cradled, stroked, caressed, valued, cared-for, healed. The patient’s experience is above all a psychological and existential one. ~ Bevis Nathan
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        2016 Goodbye & Good Riddance

        Hello everyone, I want to start out by wishing everyone a happy new year. 2016 was no joke. I’m happy to have spent the last of the year in my sexiest pair of sweatpants after having had a massage letting 2016 melt away.

        I’m not sure what 2016 was like for you all, but it was a doozy for me. I apologize for the long hiatus. 2016 was a huge year of growth, reflection and reform for me and my personal life. I felt much of what was going on was happening so quickly that before I’d even had time to process what had just happened something else was happening.  As an eye twitching control freak that likes her home a certain way and expects the same courtesies she gives, seeing things unravel and not having the celestial godlike abilities to control other people’s actions, I had to let go of many things and many people, mainly I had to let go of a part of myself.


        I’m not saying I get my rocks off by being in control.  What I’m saying is I’m vocal about what I expect because I give everything I do 110%.  I don’t half ass anything I do, I do expect the same in return and I don’t expect anyone to give me anything, I’d much rather attain material things myself. (I love working and it brings me a certain je ne sais quoi. A discerning wakefulness of being alive.)

        What 2016 taught me was that I was surrounded by people that did want things given to them and were okay doing things half assed and I was not okay with this.  Not, spiritually, not emotionally, not mentally, not even physically.  Mediocrity, is not okay with me. Not in what a person has to give, emotionally, spiritually, you name it. I’m not okay with mediocre love, mediocre effort, that whole “Meh, I tried” attitude, doesn’t cut it for me.

        In an eye opening conversation with my bestie over the new year and it’s presumptuous promises of a healthier lifestyle and mending broken fences etc..it occurred to me that I’d never made any resolutions.

        I suppose in my own way I’ve made private resolutions to myself and I’d decided on them way before 2016 was long gone.

        Lessons I’ve Learned although they seem to be highly repetitious in many Pinterest posts and quotes, they’d never seemed to resonate with me until I was under fire. Relate, yes, but resonate down to my core? No.

        • If I was forgiven, I needed to forgive myself.
        • If I forgave myself, I needed to move forward. Not wallow.
        • If I was a crappy girl, I could be a better woman.
        • If I was a crappy daughter, I could be a better sister, mother, niece, cousin, granddaughter etc..
        • Change is possible, for those who want it.
        • In my darkest hours, I was stronger than I thought possible.
        • I am looking for peace.
        • I am not afraid to be alone.
        • I’ve taught my daughters more than I knew.
        • I’m actually proud of myself.
        • Even in moments of complete despair, I could make light of a dark situation.
        • My middle name should’ve been Misunderstood
        • My spirit remains wild and untamed.
        • My girls have my untamed heart.
        • My strength comes from my mom.
        • I am forgiving. Sometimes too forgiving.
        • I am hardest on myself.
        • Resignation is not a word my body copes with well either mentally or physically.
        • My heart is calloused in certain aspects.
        • I don’t want to share certain things anymore.
        • Silence is golden.
        • Self honesty is freedom.
        • The key to happiness is gratitude.
        • Taking time to heal is imperative.
        • Make time for yourself.  Your health is wealth. You only get one body. Take care of it.

        Thanks for the lessons 2016, I’ll make sure not to take them in stride. I can’t say I’m sad to see you go. You were rough on me. Now, onward and upward!

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        The Ties That Bind

        I’ve been wondering what direction my blog is taking.  It seems to touch on many subjects.  I like to think its multifaceted kind of like myself.

        Lately, my focus has been on the great powers we hold as women.  I always say to my female clients l that we were built to last, to endure.  I find the things we’re capable of fascinating.  Have you ever met another creation as divine and diverse as a woman?

        We are hunters and gatherers for our families. We work both inside and outside of the home.  We are just as much the protectors of our assets as men.  We are the encourage the fallen, we are guides to the proper path, we are fighters for the weak.  We are all multifaceted, with layers upon layers of experiences and ideas and creative thinking. We are the home.

        The vast majority of us are nurturers by nature.  We are the ties that bind families and friends together.  We are capable of generating life, giving light in times of darkness, lifting and carrying the heaviest of burdens.  All while doing what needs to get done in order to keep everything and everyone functioning like well oiled machines.  We are sisters, friends, mothers, daughters, lovers and partners.  We’re movers, shakers, adventurers and memory makers.

        We are women, hear us roar!
        My final thought; I think we should strive to bind closer together. We can be pretty harsh with each other sometimes. We’re sisters, fighting the same battles, the same devils on different levels.

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        36 Life Lessons & Still Learning 

        1. Health is wealth. It’s easy to take your health for granted in your youth. Things are easy and inexpensive because you have youth on your side. Imagine paying for things because you’ve mistreated yourself and your body.  

        2. Self care is more than self preservation. Self care is not only about caring for your body and mind, it’s also about nurturing yourself and your soul. Evaluating the company you keep and the things you do. Believe it or not, these are all things our bodies ingest.   

        3. Seek respect not attention. There’s a huge difference between the two, don’t blur the lines.  

        4. Karma is real, you’ll get exactly what is coming to you. (Remember Galatians 6:7) For whatever a person is sowing, this he will also reap. Meaning, there are consequences for our actions. 

        5. Kill them with kindness. As a young girl I hadn’t the patience for this. I learned later on to put this to use. It really is the absolute best defense.  

        6. Reading psychology books really gives you a great upper hand at understanding people and their behavior. Everyone should read at least three different ones. Understanding the how’s and why’s plays a significant part in understanding and getting to know yourself as well as others and how you interact. 

        7. Getting older isn’t that bad. I’ve enjoyed my life even more so now that I’m older than I ever did when I was younger. Sure, my joints creak a little and I may grunt after a long hike but, I don’t think I’ve ever felt so happy. 
        8. The key to peace and joy is gratitude. Often times I thought peace and joy would come with job stability, steady income, love etc… The truth is yes, I’ve worked hard at all of the above but being grateful for everyday, and all of the above, and being grateful for waking for another day to put the day before to shame, that’s what’s brought me peace and joy. In an instant things can change, and if I’m not 6 feet under yet, I’m grateful to be here. When my day comes, I’m so happy I got a chance to be here and experience love, loss, pain, children, hard work, laughter; I’m happy I got to experience life. 

        9. You’ve got to leave your comfort zone. If you want to move forward in anything, you have to step outside of your comfort zone. Life isn’t lived in a bubble. 

        10. Make it a point to visit a good massage therapist monthly. Life is better when you’re aligned on the inside and loving yourself. Always remember the words of Eleanor Brownn~Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.

        11. There’s always some truth behind every “Just kidding.” There’s always some knowledge behind every “I don’t know.” There’s always some emotion behind every “I don’t care.” There’s always some pain behind every “I’m okay.” Be aware, be cautious, be kind, but don’t be a door mat either. 

        12. Never say never. Life moves pretty fast there are unexpected twists and turns. 

        13. Don’t judge, often times we’re quick to jump the gun. Not a single one of us is perfect. We all make mistakes. Understanding and listening are key. You learn something new everyday. Try looking at things from a different window, gain a new perspective.  

        Don’t trust skinny people that don’t eat tacos

        14. Riches don’t matter as much as fulfillment. All the money in the world couldn’t buy you the happiness you’re in search of without gratitude, sacrifice, old fashioned hard work & faith. Every thing we love takes the above ingredients. 

        15. Paulo Coelho’s introduction of The Alchemist is a Must Read! It changed my life. 

        16. Listen more than you talk. 

        17. Indulge in something really special every once in a while and share in it with someone. You don’t want to spend your whole life working without ever knowing what it is to live. 

        18. Stretch everyday & every night for at least 10 minutes. You’ll thank yourself for sticking to this later. 

        19. Giving is so much better than receiving. When I was young and (heartless) inexperienced I had no idea what this meant. I learned from watching my parents and grandparents. I’ve taught my oldest well. She is the salt of the earth. There is no greater gift. 

        20. Time alone with your partner IS imperative. Keep your bonds close, strong and well nurtured. 
        21. Have a hobby. Life revolves around work and kids, everyone needs something to do to decompress.
        22. Appreciate nature, it’s grander, beauty & strength. Go hiking, go for a walk, breathe, just breathe. Take it all in. 

        Brackenridge Park

        23. Laughter really is the best medicine.

        24. Mean what you say & say what you mean. Life’s too short to leave important words unsaid and far too short to waste time with long tongued liars. 

        25. Donate what you don’t need. 

        26. Don’t apologize if you don’t mean it. If you are sorry, prove it. Don’t let meaningless words fall out of your mouth. 

        27. Don’t lose yourself to someone else.  
        28. When you fall, dust yourself off and get up again. You won’t get anywhere laying in the dirt. 
        29. Quality over quantity always. Especially with family. 
        30. Make your place or space a home. Even when it’s temporary, you should feel at home after a long day. This will help you relax. 
        31. Discipline. There’s a huge difference between being mean and discipline. 
        34. Give praise & credit where it’s due. 
        35. Take a real vacation. The world only seems small when you don’t get out enough to explore it. 
        36. Trust your gut. That tiny voice that says don’t take that route today….is right.

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