25 Random Things That Parenthood, Age & Experience Have Taught Me

Parenthood, age and experience have taught me the best life lessons.  It doesn’t have to be perfect to be good. 

  1.  I can’t plan every little detail out. Instead I set attainable goals.  Life means sometimes my perfect planning will go ary. 
  2. I’ve lost my ability to whisper.  
  3. It’s easy to find Reislings to drink.  Oops I meant reasons.  I come from a long line of bad habits so I don’t keep it on hand.  I’d hate for my children to paint a picture of me holding a glass.  That’s not how I want them to remember me. 
  4. I like structure, order, neat and clean.  Now that I’m older I’ve realized my rigidity can cause severe eye twitching anxiety.  So I’ve created a chore board to get the kiddos engaged in helping me keep the house clean and I pay them well. 
  5. Secret signals fly over my head. I’m talkin’ I miss them like an idiot misses the point.  I don’t have time to play charades.  Just give it to me 
  6. Nature is one of the greatest healers.  
  7. Parenthood doesn’t come with a manual.  We all do the best we can with the knowledge and resources we have available to us.  Not a single one of us is a perfect parent. 
  8. I pray a lot. For everyone, even for the clients on my massage table.  Prayers of thanks and gratitude make me happy. 
  9. I love and appreciate my husband’s mind.  He’s got a big beautiful brain and a heart to match.  When you’re young, you take things like intelligence for granted.
  10. As long as I’m doing my absolute best at everything, I feel fulfilled and productive. 
  11. I admire all of the people that stay home to care for kids or work from home. I’m not one of them. I’m not strong enough to.  I believe that requires a special person with much self discipline.  
  12. Music is still one of the most powerful languages, escapes, motivators, and mood changers out there.  
  13. Being able to read nonverbal cues from others is a gift. 
  14. Although I love company, I crave to have my family alone. 
  15.  I really could survive in the wild out of the contents of my purse for at least a week.
  16. Time goes by so much faster the older you get. 
  17. Depression can happen to anyone. 
  18. Don’t collect things.  Collect love. 
  19. I now understand what my mother meant when she said “Now I know why some animals eat their young.”
  20. There are fallacies in using work as an escape. 
  21. The stresses of balancing family, kids, work, school and spouses are real.  Just because it seems under control doesn’t mean it is. 
  22. A minimalist lifestyle is so much more appealing the older I get.  Seems like shedding years of weighted clutter is much more fulfilling than filling blank walls.
  23. Your sense of smell never lets you forget anything. 
  24. Children manipulate you way faster than you could ever manipulate them. 
  25. Life is too short to leave important words unsaid. 

I’d love to hear random tidbits from you

Letting Nature Heal. Pedernales Falls State Park.
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Right Where I Need To Be

There have been many times I’ve questioned why things happen the way they do. I suppose it’s my imperfections and selfishness as a human being that make me think this way and question these things. I wonder when it will be my turn, my family’s turn to reap the rewards of our sacrifices and hard work.  I recently read something that hit me so hard I almost fell off my chair.  It stung.  When the reality of my absurdity hit me, a feeling of complete disregard for everything I’d been taught as young girl washed over me.  

Pearls of Wisdom from Curiano Quotes

How shameful that I’d allowed myself to fall into such a shallow pond and begin drowning.  When did I lose track of the many blessings I have?   I gathered myself together for a quick prayer of thanks. 

I sat and read this over and over again.   In my case it’s more like I’m not where I want to be but thank God I’m not where I used to be. 
I realized quickly that I’m right where I need to be.  I’m learning.  I’m still a work in progress.  I realized how much I’ve grown, how much I’ve learned and continue to learn.  And yes, Thank God I’m not where I used to be! 
As we continue on our journey through life trying to be the best example for our children, guiding them, coaching them, preparing them, caring for them; even with our loved ones, spouses, parents, grandparents, friends. This is the greatest reward we could’ve been given. To have our family. They are my guiding light. 
The rest is gravy. What does anything else matter?  I have what money can’t buy.  That makes me rich.  And for that I am thankful. 

Know that everything is in perfect order whether you understand it or not.
Valery Satterwhite

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Self Reliance In A Codependent World: Lessons For My Teenage Daughter

Learning to be self reliant in a codependent world is a rare gift that I hope you will find to be extremely liberating.  To my sweet Elisabeth, remember that everything I say and do for you is a calculated move.  That’s one of the blessings of motherhood.  You’re forced to think ahead for the sake of your children.  

It’s a funny thing to sit and chat with children about how you grew up.  The dynamics in every family and culture are so different. The times have changed drastically too.  I remember being in school and participating in various activities during our field day. Remember those?  That was the best day of the whole school year for me.  Getting your class to compete against your friends and their home room teachers in games of tug o’ war, what a blast! The number one thing I remember was winning in order to get a medal and ribbon.  Mediocrity wasn’t celebrated.  We didn’t get ribbons for participating.  We didn’t get our names printed on the school newsletter or paper for acknowledgement of participation.  We had to earn that.  Nobody ever suffered everlasting scars of torment from it.  Everything is so different now.  You can’t celebrate one person’s accomplishments without acknowledging every last tidbit everyone else did.  I’m here to tell you sweetheart, that you need to grow up.  You’ll have to be tougher than that if you want to be a strong, independent individual.  Being coddled that way isn’t teaching you anything other than to feel entitled.  The bad news is-The world doesn’t owe you a thing, okay?  

Recently, I was on Facebook, swiftly reading through posts and I came across one that caught my attention.  A young woman was on a tangent about how no one she knew ever liked pictures of her and her husband, she continued on about how she speculated this was probably due to jealousy.  Jealousy?  What if people weren’t on Facebook that day, or use automated posting apps like I do?  I seldomly have time to get on and actually read posts.  Most of my stuff is auto scheduled a month out.  Besides, why did people have to comment or like these posts?  Was she waiting on people to celebrate a picture she’d shared?   Naturally, my mind wandered the more I read on this….I forgot to like it and comment.. but that’s neither here nor there. 

As my oldest I hope I’ve instilled in you the caliber of my very pungently strong being so that you don’t feel you have to rely on the amounts of likes and comments left on social media platforms as a means of validity for anything.  You my dear, should know your worth and what you bring to the table.  Never wait for anyone to celebrate anything for you as a means of definition as to who or what you are or what your happiest moments mean to you.  Remember what I always say, it’s quality over quantity. I’d rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies when it comes to the people I surround myself with.  I thought about this young lady and her post for several days, I began to think maybe she felt entitled to have people falling all over themselves to compliment her and comment and like what she was sharing.  I’m supposing no one ever explained to her that someone else’s opinions shouldn’t matter to her so long as she’s happy.  As I delved deeper in thought I came to the conclusion that only a person wearing a mask would care what anyone else thinks.  When you’re truly happy with yourself and what you’ve accomplished is someone else’s happiness for you really that relevant to your being?  Is that what you’re going to allow to gauge your overall happiness?   

Gloria Steinem Quote

I guess your old lady could be wrong where this young woman is concerned, I mean I’m no expert.  I’m just an over analytical fart.  In essence what I’m saying is, thank you for listening when we talk to you.  I hope you never change.  My hopes for you are that you continue to march to the beat of your own drum.  You’ve taken risks in competitions at school that ultimately would’ve scared the bejeezus out of me, and that makes me proud of you.  You’ve never stopped to check and see if the world is going to applaud you.  That thrills me because the world doesn’t stop to applaud you.  It doesn’t have to.  You’re doing what makes you proud and happy.  You’re not stopping to look around to see who’s watching.  You’re only stopping to help others along the way.  That’s a sign of a flourishing young woman.  Your self reliance and self confidence are shaping you each and every day and they change and grow with you.  Continue on with your balance of confidence and humility.  Stay hungry, stay focused, stay humble. 

Love, 

Mom

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Mean What You Say

I don’t make enemies, it’s just I’m not afraid to speak my mind, which can sometimes mean people don’t like what I am saying. –Alan Sugar

Shut Your Mouth

Am I the only one who’s so doggone tired of people not saying what they mean and not not meaning what they say?  Just spit it out already.  I’m not a mealy mouthed woman, obviously.  If I have a questions, I’ll ask. If I don’t like something I’ll let you know and if I disagree I’ll explain why. 

I don’t understand this whole cat and mouse game of words. It’s a contemptuous game of word play in all honesty.  If  you’re upset about what someone said or did and passive aggressively handle it or indirectly address it how can you expect the other party to ever know?  Let me be the first to tell you that, that method of communication is for the birds.  You’ve gotta take the bull by the horns and say what you’ve got to say; and mean what you say.  

If you’re upset, take some time to sort out your thoughts.  Take the emotion out of it so that you’re not making rash decisions based on emotions.  (Ladies, we do this a lot). 

  • Make sure you’re not making a mountain out of a molehill. 
  • Keep your word.
  • Listen.
  • Be honest, not ugly. There is a difference. 
  • Remember in being honest, not everyone will like what you have to say.  

It’s okay if you have a difference of opinion.   Being agreeable doesn’t make you more likeable.  You’re feelings matter too. You don’t have to hide the way you feel to appease anyone.  Speaking up isn’t always easy but it’s always best. 

–Hiding how you really feel and trying to make everyone happy doesn’t make you nice, it just makes you a liar. –Jenny O’Connell, The Book of Luke

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30 Lessons Life Has Taught Me: Things I’d Teach My Younger Self

  1. Speak up. Don’t stay quiet for the sake of argument. Be heard. Create boundaries that you don’t want others to cross.  

2. Alpha females don’t run in packs. I’ve often found myself alone. I usually don’t follow the crowd because I have my own things going on. I’ve learned that that’s okay.  

3. Don’t disclose every little detail. It can and will be used against you. 

4. Hard work doesn’t go unnoticed, laziness is noticed. Don’t stop when you’re tired, stop when you’re done. 

5. Save 20% of the money you earn from the time you begin working. Keep it in a savings or money market account solely under your name. 

6. When you graduate from high school go directly into a trade school of sorts and develop a trade while you work through college. Maintain any licensure you’ve gained, you’ll be happy you did in the long run. 

7. Not everyone who’s nice to you is your friend. 

8. Separate your professional life from your personal one. There should always be a thin veil between the two. Allow glimpses in, but never intertwine the two.

9. Dress for the life you want. Not just the job you want. I’m not saying you have to strut around in high heels all day long. I’m saying don’t schlep around in pjs without make up because you will be treated according to what you project. You attract what you project. 

10. Struggles will come up, you have a choice. You can let them defeat you or motivate you. Know your limits but, strive to set records. 

11. Be careful who you choose to have children with. This person will forever be a part of your life whether it works out or not. If it doesn’t work out, they change, you change and it affects your children. 

12. Read a few psychology and body language books while you’re young. The lessons you’ll learn in reading these books will keep you a few steps ahead of the game your entire life. 

13. Sign language and a second language are always an amazing gift to possess. 

14. Take care of your body and your health. Trust me, by thirty that shit catches up to you. Make some time for yourself. 

15. When you get married, take time to nurture yourself and your relationship with your partner. You can’t let life and children take over. When all is said and done and the kids are gone, your partner is all you have left. Make sure you didn’t take each other for granted and you stay best friends.

Have No Fear
 

16. Let go of people and things that make you unhappy. Laughter really is the best medicine. 
17. Take up a hobby. Shopping is not a hobby. 

18. Do some volunteer work, it’ll make you really appreciative of what you have. 

19. Don’t buy things you don’t need. 

20. Get rid of it if you don’t use it, it doesn’t fit or if it hasn’t been worn in the last 6 months. Buy staples of clothing, not things that are trendy. 

21. If you become a mother, don’t let it define you. You were an individual before you became a mother. It’s easy to let it consume you. 

22. Takers take, and haters hate. You can’t change people, so don’t try to.  You either take them as they are or move forward. 

24. Pay it forward.  Acts 20:35 It is more blessed to give than to receive.  

25. Be understanding of parents.  Parenting doesn’t come with a manual.  Doling out advice and judgment is easy when you don’t have children of your own. Remember the old rule of different strokes for different folks. If you are a parent, maybe you lucked out with helping hands and great children. They’re not all the same and we’re not all the same. What worked for you may not work for someone else. 

26. Respect Mother Nature

27. Enjoy some time unplugged from gadgets, phones and computers. 

28. Don’t take things too personally, it’s not always about you. 

29. Old ways don’t open new doors.  If it was easy it would come with instructions.  

30. You can either get up or give up. You always have a choice. Just make sure you can live with the choice you made. 

Walking away
~~I can’t decide whether I’m a good girl wrapped up in a bad girl, or if I’m a bad girl wrapped up in a good girl. And that’s how I know I’m a woman!
C. JoyBell C.

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My Little Texas Tornadoes 

Kids are the best. Being a mom to a teenager and a toddler can only be described as the perfect combination of wanting to snuggle and understanding why some animals eat their young. Balance. Life is all about balance right? 

We recently took my Mom in law and family to Fredericksburg, Tx. They’d never been and we decided to go at the spur of the moment. 

The family members without kids enjoyed wine and beer tastings, I got to visit all of the children’s boutiques and could only window shop from 30 feet away for fear that my toddler had suddenly developed the ability to cut glass with her fingernails and melt fudge with the same eyes she uses to try to burn holes into me. 

Her first chocolate crush

So we swung by the candy shop because it’s frowned upon to always be the bad cop and outside they had a life sized M&M and a bench with lollipops attached with cut outs for your face. I said to my oldest “let’s take your picture!” She ran over and put her face in the hole. Then my little one ran towards the bench and  climbed up to sit in it. I said to her “Pumpkin, why don’t you put your face in the hole too?” 

I spy a little Texas Tornado
 

Apparently the one time she decided to listen I wasn’t specific enough.  I got some flack from people on Facebook for this.  Just some good old fashioned fun and teasing. I was thrilled she’d even followed through with my request that I didn’t care which way she was facing.  But I did get quite the tickle out of this. She’s quite the smart ass.  

I’m sure she’s looking at the camera and smiling on the inside
Remember these?
Chocolate covered bacon
Chocolate covered jalapeños & chocolate covered pickles
My little Texas tornadoes

It was a fun trip, my two Texas tornadoes. One testing her wind strength and the other doing all the damage possible whether her winds are strong or not. Two completely separate storms that come together to reign my powers of motherhood in and make me laugh at the fact that they have my snarky personality. I’m fighting my own reflection.  

When the lights go down in the city
“When God Created Mothers”

When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of “overtime” when the angel appeared and said. “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.” 

And God said, “Have you read the specs on this order?” She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts…all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands.” 

The angel shook her head slowly and said. “Six pairs of hands…. no way.” 

“It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” God remarked, “it’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.” 

“That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel. 

God nodded. “One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, ‘What are you kids doing in there?’ when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. ‘I understand and I love you’ without so much as uttering a word. 

“God,” said the angel touching his sleeve gently, “Get some rest tomorrow….”

“I can’t,” said God, “I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick…can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger…and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower.” 

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. “It’s too soft,” she sighed. 

“But tough!” said God excitedly. “You can imagine what this mother can do or endure.”

“Can it think?” 

“Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise,” said the Creator. 

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. “There’s a leak,”she pronounced. “I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model.”

“It’s not a leak,” said the Lord, “It’s a tear.”

” What’s it for? ” 

“It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride.”

“You are a genius, ” said the angel. 

Somberly, God said, “I didn’t put it there.” 

― Erma Bombeck, When God Created Mothers

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Exchanges Of Energy: 

I’ve been a licensed massage therapist for ten years now. In the beginning of my ten year journey energy work was not something I believed in. I was always aware that an exchange of energy occurred I just wasn’t paying much attention to it. My focus was on fixing things. 
I loved the clinical side of massage. I loved seeing physical changes of manual manipulation of muscle tissue and fascia. I lived to see and hear what my clients felt and how I’d helped them regain strength and range of motion.  
Although, I still love the clinical aspect of massage and what I bring to a persons life, I’ve learned that there is a special exchange of energy taking place through massage, through touch at all times. Whether it’s good or bad, exhilarating or draining its occurring. 
When I was attending massage therapy school they had a prayer posted on the wall. It read, May all my clients feel God’s healing touch through my hands. It was something I never forgot, and continue to repeat to myself and over every client that I lay my hands on.
  I never ask whether or not they believe, I just say my prayer and sync my breathing along with theirs, I listen to the music and let their bodies talk to me and let me know what they need from me. I watch for nonverbal cues, fingers curling, breathing, muscle tension, fidgeting, etc…and make adjustments accordingly.

Power Of Touch

Recently, I was telling my husband that I’ve noticed a greater ability to communicate with clients nonverbally. I couldn’t put into words so I related an experience I’d had that day. 
While working on a woman earlier that day, I could tell it had been a long time since she’d done anything nice for herself. She’d mentioned she was visiting with a friend who was going to be moving away. As I began the massage, I could sense she was going through a difficult time. Of course I didn’t say anything, I did what I always do, I said my prayer, I asked that she feel God’s healing touch through my hands and that she let whatever she was holding onto melt onto the table warmer and allow herself to open up and breathe. As I worked my way through her back, neck and shoulders I could feel it happening, I prayed my thanks. Suddenly, I heard the emotional release, a quiet sob, I kept working thankful she was letting go. By the time I finished with her fingertips of her second hand she said through a quiet sob “I don’t know how, but, you’ve changed my life. I felt it. I don’t know what you did, but, you have. I feel different. It’s a good change, I can feel it, what did you do?” I told her “I prayed you’d feel God’s healing touch through my hands, and that you’d let your stresses melt here and stay here.” Silence ensued by another quiet sob from time to time. By the time I was done, she looked different. Happier. Fulfilled. Changed. I knew she was going to be taking better care of herself. 

Touch & Memory, Muscle Memory

My hubby didn’t find it as hard to believe as I’d imagined. I’ve given him massages where he’s asked me what I’ve done differently or he’s said things like “That one was nurturing to the soul.” 
I suppose I’m sharing this because I feel more attuned with myself, in essence harmonizing my energy has really assisted in the quality of nonverbal correspondence between me and my clients. Cultivating that exchange has also proven to be a very valuable and fulfilling experience for me as well and has added so much more of a satisfying productiveness to my days. 
I love what I do. I always have. I love learning new techniques and incorporating them into different services based on a clients needs. It’s the ability we have as people to correspond with each other that has truly fascinated me. The transmission and exchange of energies that occurs in such an intimate setting and being allowed in to rejuvenate, restore and rehabilitate someone is something that brings me so much peace and gratification.  

Reasons To Get Regular Massages

  • To improve your overall quality of life
  • Helps with depression & anxiety 
  • Helps with pain management 
  • Improves circulation 
  • Decreases and helps with stress
  • Improves range of motion & flexibility 
  • Enhances the bodies immunity 
  • Reduces cramping & spasms
  • Reduces migraine pain
  • Enhances sleep quality
  • Helps with post operative adhesions 
  • Helps with swelling 
  • Helps with back pain & muscle injury 
  • Stretch over used muscles
  • Lowers blood pressure 
  • Calms the nervous system
  • Increases tissue regeneration 
  • Improves red blood cell count
  • Decreases muscle deterioration 
  • Improves muscle tone
  • Improves posture
  • Reduces mental stress 
  • Provides a sense of health & well being. 

Words to Inspire My Fellow Therapists

  • Often the hands will solve a mystery that the intellect has struggled with in vain. ~Carl Jung
  • Where the spirit does not work with the hand, there is no art. ~Leonardo da Vinci
  • A really intelligent man feels what other men only know. ~Baron de Montesquieu
  • Healing yourself is connected with healing others. ~ Yoko Ono
  • Our bodies communicate to us clearly and specifically, if we are willing to listen. ~Shakti Gawain
  • The real purpose of giving massage is to foster more depth of feeling for one another in order to bring out the love that often lies buried beneath the pain of everyday suffering.  ~Robert Calvert
  • On one level, massage actually has little to do with muscles and joints and hands and backs. It has to do with the person inside the body giving the massage and the person inside getting the massage. The real massage is the transmission of a message from the giver to the receiver and back again: and that message is likely to contain elements of gratitude, understanding, compassion and shared awareness.~ Steve Capellini 
  • The intention of touch is to create a therapeutic physiological event in the tissues of the patient, and the rationale underlying the technique is physiological, kinetic or mechanical in nature. From the patient’s point of view, the touch has its roots in non-verbal communication or communion. She does not experience the touch as merely a technique or procedure on her body tissues, it involves her self. She is being held, cradled, stroked, caressed, valued, cared-for, healed. The patient’s experience is above all a psychological and existential one. ~ Bevis Nathan
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Freaky Friday 


Don’t you just love the way men think? I wish I’d been blessed with a one track mind that solves everything with sex.  Unfortunately, I came out an over analytical, neurotic, Type A, worry wart whose last concern is with sex when it comes to problem solving. 

This is an ode to my husband, who finds the best way to get to the root of a problem and find resolution is through sex.  I don’t know how he does it! He’s able to find the humor and perfect timing to make his pitch for sex at any God given moment. He’s slick about it too. His come hither eyes seem to be turned on as he so eloquently makes his case. That’s a gift ladies! A true marksman that never misses his target. 

How is it he was given this gift of charismatic charm that works in his favor every time? I feel like I’m so far behind him on this subject.  For example, Today, he came home from work, our little one had a bit of a rough day. As I was explaining all the things that had gone awry today he says to me, with full confidence in his voice and his playful yet understanding tone “You know, it’s Friday the 13th today. Maybe we should join her and let ‘Freaky Friday’ work it’s devilishness on us. That way she’s not the only one afraid of things going thump in the night.”

I started cracking up. I could’ve died laughing. He was serious too. He made his plea for sex. He’ll get it too. He always does.  

There are days when I feel I’ve lost my sense of humor and then he comes at me with his sexual innuendos and all worry dissolves bringing me back down to Earth. He’s right, I’m just being mom.

So to my dearest,  I’m sorry it feels likes this for you. 

      

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Toddlers: Untamed Hearts

I’ve been told many times that my life should be recorded, or that I should do stand up comedy. Hardy-har-har. Probably because the joke’s always on me right? So, I’ve mentioned a few times that both of my girls have my wild untamed heart. It’s true. They’re both wild in their own ways as am I. But my little one, oh boy is she giving me a run for my money. You know, I haven’t quite figured out why I’m being punished. 

My mom tells me I was a good girl. Excellent in fact. I ate everything she made me, even told her what a great cook she was, I spoke in clear complete sentences by the time I was a year old. I took my naps, I was early to rise and early to go to bed. My kindergarten teacher Mrs. Stephenson told my mom I was the best napper in class. I was a bit of an over achiever if you ask me. 

My little one on the other hand is on a mission from God (I believe this to be true with all my heart) to allow me the opportunity to test my better judgement or just straight up see if I can live the rest of my life in martyrdom. 
Anyway, we were out buying some scratch off lottery tickets a few weeks ago. It was a warm Texas day. I was wearing my green cropped muumuu. So it wasn’t an ankle grazing one but cut to the length of the knees. My little one has had a love-hate thing going on with Disney’s Frozen. On this particular day she was loving it. She was singing and swaying the back of my dress from side to side as we waited in line. Despite my many pleads to get her to stop playing with my dress, she continued to ignore my requests and sing. As I got to the counter and I finished paying she was simultaneously ending her rendition of Queen Elsa singing Let it go; Coming to a close while belting out “The cold never bothered me anyway” she made her grand finale by lifting my dress over her head and shoulders exposing my granny panties to everyone waiting in line behind me. 


This would’ve been livable if I had great legs or nice rump. In my mind it should’ve played out like the woman pictured above. 
Instead, as I swatted my hand onto my dress to clamp it down and hide my granny panties, whilst speaking through gritted teeth and telling her we were leaving. I turned to face this. 

The cashier stood frozen, hand covering her mouth and the woman in line behind me shut her eyes and began nodding her head side to side keeping her lips tucked into a tight line where she was fighting off the laughter that was threatening to bust out if she took one look at me. 

I quickly bustled towards the door with my little one close behind and as I reached up to push it open my little one had taken a few steps back into the convenience store to eyeball some hotdogs and announce she was now hungry. I had no choice but to look back and face the people I was so desperately trying to leave behind. 

All I could see was the line of people behind me staring and laughing hysterically. Thanks Pumpkin. Nothing on earth is quite as exciting or humbling as being your mom. 

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2016 Goodbye & Good Riddance

Hello everyone, I want to start out by wishing everyone a happy new year. 2016 was no joke. I’m happy to have spent the last of the year in my sexiest pair of sweatpants after having had a massage letting 2016 melt away.

I’m not sure what 2016 was like for you all, but it was a doozy for me. I apologize for the long hiatus. 2016 was a huge year of growth, reflection and reform for me and my personal life. I felt much of what was going on was happening so quickly that before I’d even had time to process what had just happened something else was happening.  As an eye twitching control freak that likes her home a certain way and expects the same courtesies she gives, seeing things unravel and not having the celestial godlike abilities to control other people’s actions, I had to let go of many things and many people, mainly I had to let go of a part of myself.


I’m not saying I get my rocks off by being in control.  What I’m saying is I’m vocal about what I expect because I give everything I do 110%.  I don’t half ass anything I do, I do expect the same in return and I don’t expect anyone to give me anything, I’d much rather attain material things myself. (I love working and it brings me a certain je ne sais quoi. A discerning wakefulness of being alive.)

What 2016 taught me was that I was surrounded by people that did want things given to them and were okay doing things half assed and I was not okay with this.  Not, spiritually, not emotionally, not mentally, not even physically.  Mediocrity, is not okay with me. Not in what a person has to give, emotionally, spiritually, you name it. I’m not okay with mediocre love, mediocre effort, that whole “Meh, I tried” attitude, doesn’t cut it for me.

In an eye opening conversation with my bestie over the new year and it’s presumptuous promises of a healthier lifestyle and mending broken fences etc..it occurred to me that I’d never made any resolutions.

I suppose in my own way I’ve made private resolutions to myself and I’d decided on them way before 2016 was long gone.

Lessons I’ve Learned although they seem to be highly repetitious in many Pinterest posts and quotes, they’d never seemed to resonate with me until I was under fire. Relate, yes, but resonate down to my core? No.

  • If I was forgiven, I needed to forgive myself.
  • If I forgave myself, I needed to move forward. Not wallow.
  • If I was a crappy girl, I could be a better woman.
  • If I was a crappy daughter, I could be a better sister, mother, niece, cousin, granddaughter etc..
  • Change is possible, for those who want it.
  • In my darkest hours, I was stronger than I thought possible.
  • I am looking for peace.
  • I am not afraid to be alone.
  • I’ve taught my daughters more than I knew.
  • I’m actually proud of myself.
  • Even in moments of complete despair, I could make light of a dark situation.
  • My middle name should’ve been Misunderstood
  • My spirit remains wild and untamed.
  • My girls have my untamed heart.
  • My strength comes from my mom.
  • I am forgiving. Sometimes too forgiving.
  • I am hardest on myself.
  • Resignation is not a word my body copes with well either mentally or physically.
  • My heart is calloused in certain aspects.
  • I don’t want to share certain things anymore.
  • Silence is golden.
  • Self honesty is freedom.
  • The key to happiness is gratitude.
  • Taking time to heal is imperative.
  • Make time for yourself.  Your health is wealth. You only get one body. Take care of it.

Thanks for the lessons 2016, I’ll make sure not to take them in stride. I can’t say I’m sad to see you go. You were rough on me. Now, onward and upward!

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