I don’t make enemies, it’s just I’m not afraid to speak my mind, which can sometimes mean people don’t like what I am saying. –Alan Sugar
Am I the only one who’s so doggone tired of people not saying what they mean and not not meaning what they say? Just spit it out already. I’m not a mealy mouthed woman, obviously. If I have a questions, I’ll ask. If I don’t like something I’ll let you know and if I disagree I’ll explain why.
I don’t understand this whole cat and mouse game of words. It’s a contemptuous game of word play in all honesty. If you’re upset about what someone said or did and passive aggressively handle it or indirectly address it how can you expect the other party to ever know? Let me be the first to tell you that, that method of communication is for the birds. You’ve gotta take the bull by the horns and say what you’ve got to say; and mean what you say.
If you’re upset, take some time to sort out your thoughts. Take the emotion out of it so that you’re not making rash decisions based on emotions. (Ladies, we do this a lot).
Make sure you’re not making a mountain out of a molehill.
Keep your word.
Be honest, not ugly. There is a difference.
Remember in being honest, not everyone will like what you have to say.
It’s okay if you have a difference of opinion. Being agreeable doesn’t make you more likeable. You’re feelings matter too. You don’t have to hide the way you feel to appease anyone. Speaking up isn’t always easy but it’s always best.
–Hiding how you really feel and trying to make everyone happy doesn’t make you nice, it just makes you a liar. –Jenny O’Connell, The Book of Luke
It was an exceptionally busy week for me. I had a great time at work and had some very interesting conversations. This week got me thinking about the silent thoughts we have as wives and mothers, and perhaps women in general. I wanted to bring attention to women, depression, and marriage ruts that are so easily fallen into. I wondered if we are all silent wives. I wondered if we all fall silent.
While our children sleep peacefully we fall asleep praying for them. Silently begging and pleading for them to always be well, thanking God for every last second with them. While our husband’s or partners are at work we manage to maintain a job, home, kids and everything else that comes our way. We silently ignore our own needs to ensure that everyone else’s are met and satisfied first.
While our parents find activities to occupy their retired time, we silently weep and take in the bittersweet beauty of watching someone we thought was invincible get older and celebrate the great moments we’ve had with them.
While people mistake our kindness for weakness and sacrifices for stupidity, we lay awake at night silently hoping that everything we’ve done is right and worth it.
While some of us wander through life completely oblivious to the battles and sacrifices we make, taking life in stride. We stand silently enduring the struggles of depression, carrying with us the secrets of our partners indiscretions, the burdens we feel of not being able to communicate the weight on our shoulders.
We, the silent women bear the weight of smiling to make it through another day without letting anyone know what we’re really feeling. We, the silent women maintain our composure while our other halves work ridiculously long hours because keeping up with the Joneses has taken over our lives. We don’t mention the pressures of staying fit and looking well for our other half while they take for granted the effort and time it takes to shave our legs, wax our unmentionable parts, manage a home, take care of children, work and muster the energy to be intimate.
We cry quietly on the inside waiting for someone who knows us well to recognize the fact that we’re exhausted, That we can’t make excuses for an absent spouse anymore.
We silently endure in our relationships what others would call abuse or negligence of a spouse in order to fulfill our promises to our children and other halves and avoid anything or anyone that may rock the boat we’re on.
We quietly accept to take on even more responsibilities as our children join more and more sports and activities; as our spouses request more of our support so that they can further their education or take that promotion.
We smile and downplay the severity of our emotional distress so that it appears to just have been a rough day although if you leave us alone we weep on our way to work as an outlet for the stress we feel.
We quietly carry on with the strength of a 550 horse powered vehicle, quietly but with much ferocity, humming through the streets not ever letting anyone know what’s really under the hood.
We, the silent stand humbly awaiting a moment as rare as a Sasquatch sighting, for someone to ask us ‘is there anything I can do for you?’
To all of the silent women out there, please know that I pray for you all on a nightly basis. I pray for you to speak up, to know that is okay for you to ask for help, I pray for strength and courage for you, I pray that you make yourself a priority. I pray for you ladies. I pray that you take a moment for yourself and that when you do, you can rest at ease knowing that I’ve heard some of your silent cries, that some of you have come to me to let go, and I’m happy to listen and continue to pray for you.