You Fight Like A Girl

Am I the only person that thinks girls can be unusually cruel and vicious?  

During difficult times women can be the greatest pillars of strength known to mankind and by the same token girls can be incredibly mean and catty. 

There’s the key difference. There are girls and there are women. I’ve written on this topic before on a previous blog that’s now gone private. For now, let’s elaborate a little bit more on this subject.  There are crucial differences between the two. 

Women empower other women and feel empowered by doing so.  Lifting each other up during difficult times and helping each other grow. Even if it means the apprentice surpasses the instructor.  As a means of thanks and gratitude the apprentice in turn empowers the instructor by teaching them what they’ve grown to learn. There by empowering each other. This is an exemplary show of growth, maturity, gratitude and womanhood. 


A girl will berate, belittle and possibly hold another friend or colleague back out of fear of being surpassed in knowledge and accomplishment. Rather than help accomplish goals or encourage another friend, insecurities arise and take over and quickly dispel any probability of a flourishing, mature and thriving friendship or relationship. 

Studies across the world have been done regarding this very subject. The most absolute and root cause…insecurity. It’s them. Not you.  Interestingly enough, many of the fights that ensue are brought on by the insecure girl having an inner struggle with herself and seldom has anything to do with you personally.  If a grown woman is responsible for the sabotaging it’s due to her lack of ever having identified her own personal weaknesses and addressing them.  Therefore she behaves like the mean high school girl who gets her rocks off belittling the girl that’s capable of expression and showing emotion.  A warped sense of self comes into play here. The fun house mirror that they’re looking into that makes them look and feel tall although on the inside they’re small and scared. 

The road to hell was paved with the bones of men who did not know when to quit fighting.

Paulette Jiles, Enemy Women

My question is how are we as women able to identify if we’re guilty of this behavior ourselves?  Well, let’s think a little bit.  For the most part, we’ve all been the mean girl.  Whether it happened early on in adolescence or later on as we came to mesh with others in our close circles, maybe you were mean to a sibling.  We’ve experienced the torture or been the torturer.  It’s not hard to identify, the hardest part is admitting to ourselves we’re guilty of it.  We know what it’s like.   We are vicious, unrelenting when we’re really mad or hurt. 

Whenever you are confronted with an opponent. Conquer him with love.

Mahatma Gandhi

Continue Reading

Manic Monday: Time’s A Wasting 

Another Manic Monday’s Thoughts: Don’t Waste Energy. I know it’s been a while since I’ve written anything on Manic Monday’s thoughts. I’ve had so much on my mind lately it’s been hard to organize my thoughts and pick ONE thing to write about.  This is one of my favorites from 100 Days Happier: So many of life’s eventualities are beyond your control. Work out what things you can influence and come to a peaceful acceptance of the rest.
Don’t waste your energy
 Sometimes everything will go your way and on other days nothing at all seems to go right. If you are having one of those days, instead of wasting your energy raging against something you can’t control, take a deep breath and accept it. That way, even though the moment may be ruined, your day won’t have to be.
This has struck quite a chord with me lately. I’ve been witness to someone being so crude and ruthless, arrogant, vengeful, negligent, spiteful and hateful all at the same time it’s made me wonder how they manage to get through their day without having a massive coronary. I pray for you and your family. I feel like you need it the most. You need peace. You need to breathe and let go and live. What good is life if you’re merely existing and not living? Life is short, really short for some of us, wouldn’t you rather live it happily?   

I want to leave this earth and I want the girls to remember that although I was hard on them I was hard on them in a way that was pushing them to do and be their absolute best. I want them to remember that it was fun to color outside of the lines and letting the music move us instead of moving to the music. I want them to remember the spontaneous road trips we always took, I want them to remember fishing trips and treading through knee high waters and plucking ticks off our bellies from walking in the woods. I want them to remember me laughing because their grandpa drove me crazy. I want them to remember the stories their grandma’s and great grandma’s had to tell about us. I want to leave my mark on this earth so that these girls know what their parents were made of. Love, laughter and full of LIFE! 
  
There’ll be two dates on your tombstone and all your friends will read ’em but all that’s gonna matter is that little dash between ’em. ~ Kevin Welch

Continue Reading