The Silent Women: Have You Fallen Silent?

It was an exceptionally busy week for me. I had a great time at work and had some very interesting conversations. This week got me thinking about the silent thoughts we have as wives and mothers, and perhaps women in general.  I wanted to bring attention to women, depression, and marriage ruts that are so easily fallen into.  I wondered if we are all silent wives.  I wondered if we all fall silent.

While our children sleep peacefully we fall asleep praying for them. Silently begging and pleading for them to always be well, thanking God for every last second with them. While our husband’s or partners are at work we manage to maintain a job, home, kids and everything else that comes our way. We silently ignore our own needs to ensure that everyone else’s are met and satisfied first.
While our parents find activities to occupy their retired time, we silently weep and take in the bittersweet beauty of watching someone we thought was invincible get older and celebrate the great moments we’ve had with them.
While people mistake our kindness for weakness and sacrifices for stupidity, we lay awake at night silently hoping that everything we’ve done is right and worth it.
While some of us wander through life completely oblivious to the battles and sacrifices we make, taking life in stride. We stand silently enduring the struggles of depression, carrying with us the secrets of our partners indiscretions, the burdens we feel of not being able to communicate the weight on our shoulders.
We, the silent women bear the weight of smiling to make it through another day without letting anyone know what we’re really feeling. We, the silent women maintain our composure while our other halves work ridiculously long hours because keeping up with the Joneses has taken over our lives. We don’t mention the pressures of staying fit and looking well for our other half while they take for granted the effort and time it takes to shave our legs, wax our unmentionable parts, manage a home, take care of children, work and muster the energy to be intimate.
We cry quietly on the inside waiting for someone who knows us well to recognize the fact that we’re exhausted, That we can’t make excuses for an absent spouse anymore.

We silently endure in our relationships what others would call abuse or negligence of a spouse in order to fulfill our promises to our children and other halves and avoid anything or anyone that may rock the boat we’re on.
We quietly accept to take on even more responsibilities as our children join more and more sports and activities; as our spouses request more of our support so that they can further their education or take that promotion.
We smile and downplay the severity of our emotional distress so that it appears to just have been a rough day although if you leave us alone we weep on our way to work as an outlet for the stress we feel.
We quietly carry on with the strength of a 550 horse powered vehicle, quietly but with much ferocity, humming through the streets not ever letting anyone know what’s really under the hood.
We, the silent stand humbly awaiting a moment as rare as a Sasquatch sighting, for someone to ask us ‘is there anything I can do for you?’
To all of the silent women out there, please know that I pray for you all on a nightly basis. I pray for you to speak up, to know that is okay for you to ask for help, I pray for strength and courage for you, I pray that you make yourself a priority. I pray for you ladies. I pray that you take a moment for yourself and that when you do, you can rest at ease knowing that I’ve heard some of your silent cries, that some of you have come to me to let go, and I’m happy to listen and continue to pray for you.

Have you ever felt like you’ve fallen silent?

Continue Reading

Exchanges Of Energy: 

I’ve been a licensed massage therapist for ten years now. In the beginning of my ten year journey energy work was not something I believed in. I was always aware that an exchange of energy occurred I just wasn’t paying much attention to it. My focus was on fixing things. 
I loved the clinical side of massage. I loved seeing physical changes of manual manipulation of muscle tissue and fascia. I lived to see and hear what my clients felt and how I’d helped them regain strength and range of motion.  
Although, I still love the clinical aspect of massage and what I bring to a persons life, I’ve learned that there is a special exchange of energy taking place through massage, through touch at all times. Whether it’s good or bad, exhilarating or draining its occurring. 
When I was attending massage therapy school they had a prayer posted on the wall. It read, May all my clients feel God’s healing touch through my hands. It was something I never forgot, and continue to repeat to myself and over every client that I lay my hands on.
  I never ask whether or not they believe, I just say my prayer and sync my breathing along with theirs, I listen to the music and let their bodies talk to me and let me know what they need from me. I watch for nonverbal cues, fingers curling, breathing, muscle tension, fidgeting, etc…and make adjustments accordingly.

Power Of Touch

Recently, I was telling my husband that I’ve noticed a greater ability to communicate with clients nonverbally. I couldn’t put into words so I related an experience I’d had that day. 
While working on a woman earlier that day, I could tell it had been a long time since she’d done anything nice for herself. She’d mentioned she was visiting with a friend who was going to be moving away. As I began the massage, I could sense she was going through a difficult time. Of course I didn’t say anything, I did what I always do, I said my prayer, I asked that she feel God’s healing touch through my hands and that she let whatever she was holding onto melt onto the table warmer and allow herself to open up and breathe. As I worked my way through her back, neck and shoulders I could feel it happening, I prayed my thanks. Suddenly, I heard the emotional release, a quiet sob, I kept working thankful she was letting go. By the time I finished with her fingertips of her second hand she said through a quiet sob “I don’t know how, but, you’ve changed my life. I felt it. I don’t know what you did, but, you have. I feel different. It’s a good change, I can feel it, what did you do?” I told her “I prayed you’d feel God’s healing touch through my hands, and that you’d let your stresses melt here and stay here.” Silence ensued by another quiet sob from time to time. By the time I was done, she looked different. Happier. Fulfilled. Changed. I knew she was going to be taking better care of herself. 

Touch & Memory, Muscle Memory

My hubby didn’t find it as hard to believe as I’d imagined. I’ve given him massages where he’s asked me what I’ve done differently or he’s said things like “That one was nurturing to the soul.” 
I suppose I’m sharing this because I feel more attuned with myself, in essence harmonizing my energy has really assisted in the quality of nonverbal correspondence between me and my clients. Cultivating that exchange has also proven to be a very valuable and fulfilling experience for me as well and has added so much more of a satisfying productiveness to my days. 
I love what I do. I always have. I love learning new techniques and incorporating them into different services based on a clients needs. It’s the ability we have as people to correspond with each other that has truly fascinated me. The transmission and exchange of energies that occurs in such an intimate setting and being allowed in to rejuvenate, restore and rehabilitate someone is something that brings me so much peace and gratification.  

Reasons To Get Regular Massages

  • To improve your overall quality of life
  • Helps with depression & anxiety 
  • Helps with pain management 
  • Improves circulation 
  • Decreases and helps with stress
  • Improves range of motion & flexibility 
  • Enhances the bodies immunity 
  • Reduces cramping & spasms
  • Reduces migraine pain
  • Enhances sleep quality
  • Helps with post operative adhesions 
  • Helps with swelling 
  • Helps with back pain & muscle injury 
  • Stretch over used muscles
  • Lowers blood pressure 
  • Calms the nervous system
  • Increases tissue regeneration 
  • Improves red blood cell count
  • Decreases muscle deterioration 
  • Improves muscle tone
  • Improves posture
  • Reduces mental stress 
  • Provides a sense of health & well being. 

Words to Inspire My Fellow Therapists

  • Often the hands will solve a mystery that the intellect has struggled with in vain. ~Carl Jung
  • Where the spirit does not work with the hand, there is no art. ~Leonardo da Vinci
  • A really intelligent man feels what other men only know. ~Baron de Montesquieu
  • Healing yourself is connected with healing others. ~ Yoko Ono
  • Our bodies communicate to us clearly and specifically, if we are willing to listen. ~Shakti Gawain
  • The real purpose of giving massage is to foster more depth of feeling for one another in order to bring out the love that often lies buried beneath the pain of everyday suffering.  ~Robert Calvert
  • On one level, massage actually has little to do with muscles and joints and hands and backs. It has to do with the person inside the body giving the massage and the person inside getting the massage. The real massage is the transmission of a message from the giver to the receiver and back again: and that message is likely to contain elements of gratitude, understanding, compassion and shared awareness.~ Steve Capellini 
  • The intention of touch is to create a therapeutic physiological event in the tissues of the patient, and the rationale underlying the technique is physiological, kinetic or mechanical in nature. From the patient’s point of view, the touch has its roots in non-verbal communication or communion. She does not experience the touch as merely a technique or procedure on her body tissues, it involves her self. She is being held, cradled, stroked, caressed, valued, cared-for, healed. The patient’s experience is above all a psychological and existential one. ~ Bevis Nathan
Continue Reading