There have been many times I’ve questioned why things happen the way they do. I suppose it’s my imperfections and selfishness as a human being that make me think this way and question these things. I wonder when it will be my turn, my family’s turn to reap the rewards of our sacrifices and hard work. I recently read something that hit me so hard I almost fell off my chair. It stung. When the reality of my absurdity hit me, a feeling of complete disregard for everything I’d been taught as young girl washed over me.
How shameful that I’d allowed myself to fall into such a shallow pond and begin drowning. When did I lose track of the many blessings I have? I gathered myself together for a quick prayer of thanks.
I sat and read this over and over again. In my case it’s more like I’m not where I want to be but thank God I’m not where I used to be.
I realized quickly that I’m right where I need to be. I’m learning. I’m still a work in progress. I realized how much I’ve grown, how much I’ve learned and continue to learn. And yes, Thank God I’m not where I used to be!
As we continue on our journey through life trying to be the best example for our children, guiding them, coaching them, preparing them, caring for them; even with our loved ones, spouses, parents, grandparents, friends. This is the greatest reward we could’ve been given. To have our family. They are my guiding light.
The rest is gravy. What does anything else matter? I have what money can’t buy. That makes me rich. And for that I am thankful.
Know that everything is in perfect order whether you understand it or not.
Another Manic Monday’s Thoughts: Don’t Waste Energy. I know it’s been a while since I’ve written anything on Manic Monday’s thoughts. I’ve had so much on my mind lately it’s been hard to organize my thoughts and pick ONE thing to write about. This is one of my favorites from 100 Days Happier: So many of life’s eventualities are beyond your control. Work out what things you can influence and come to a peaceful acceptance of the rest.
Don’t waste your energy
Sometimes everything will go your way and on other days nothing at all seems to go right. If you are having one of those days, instead of wasting your energy raging against something you can’t control, take a deep breath and accept it. That way, even though the moment may be ruined, your day won’t have to be.
This has struck quite a chord with me lately. I’ve been witness to someone being so crude and ruthless, arrogant, vengeful, negligent, spiteful and hateful all at the same time it’s made me wonder how they manage to get through their day without having a massive coronary. I pray for you and your family. I feel like you need it the most. You need peace. You need to breathe and let go and live. What good is life if you’re merely existing and not living? Life is short, really short for some of us, wouldn’t you rather live it happily?
I want to leave this earth and I want the girls to remember that although I was hard on them I was hard on them in a way that was pushing them to do and be their absolute best. I want them to remember that it was fun to color outside of the lines and letting the music move us instead of moving to the music. I want them to remember the spontaneous road trips we always took, I want them to remember fishing trips and treading through knee high waters and plucking ticks off our bellies from walking in the woods. I want them to remember me laughing because their grandpa drove me crazy. I want them to remember the stories their grandma’s and great grandma’s had to tell about us. I want to leave my mark on this earth so that these girls know what their parents were made of. Love, laughter and full of LIFE!
There’ll be two dates on your tombstone and all your friends will read ’em but all that’s gonna matter is that little dash between ’em. ~ Kevin Welch