Right Where I Need To Be

There have been many times I’ve questioned why things happen the way they do. I suppose it’s my imperfections and selfishness as a human being that make me think this way and question these things. I wonder when it will be my turn, my family’s turn to reap the rewards of our sacrifices and hard work.  I recently read something that hit me so hard I almost fell off my chair.  It stung.  When the reality of my absurdity hit me, a feeling of complete disregard for everything I’d been taught as young girl washed over me.  

Pearls of Wisdom from Curiano Quotes

How shameful that I’d allowed myself to fall into such a shallow pond and begin drowning.  When did I lose track of the many blessings I have?   I gathered myself together for a quick prayer of thanks. 

I sat and read this over and over again.   In my case it’s more like I’m not where I want to be but thank God I’m not where I used to be. 
I realized quickly that I’m right where I need to be.  I’m learning.  I’m still a work in progress.  I realized how much I’ve grown, how much I’ve learned and continue to learn.  And yes, Thank God I’m not where I used to be! 
As we continue on our journey through life trying to be the best example for our children, guiding them, coaching them, preparing them, caring for them; even with our loved ones, spouses, parents, grandparents, friends. This is the greatest reward we could’ve been given. To have our family. They are my guiding light. 
The rest is gravy. What does anything else matter?  I have what money can’t buy.  That makes me rich.  And for that I am thankful. 

Know that everything is in perfect order whether you understand it or not.
Valery Satterwhite

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Self Reliance In A Codependent World: Lessons For My Teenage Daughter

Learning to be self reliant in a codependent world is a rare gift that I hope you will find to be extremely liberating.  To my sweet Elisabeth, remember that everything I say and do for you is a calculated move.  That’s one of the blessings of motherhood.  You’re forced to think ahead for the sake of your children.  

It’s a funny thing to sit and chat with children about how you grew up.  The dynamics in every family and culture are so different. The times have changed drastically too.  I remember being in school and participating in various activities during our field day. Remember those?  That was the best day of the whole school year for me.  Getting your class to compete against your friends and their home room teachers in games of tug o’ war, what a blast! The number one thing I remember was winning in order to get a medal and ribbon.  Mediocrity wasn’t celebrated.  We didn’t get ribbons for participating.  We didn’t get our names printed on the school newsletter or paper for acknowledgement of participation.  We had to earn that.  Nobody ever suffered everlasting scars of torment from it.  Everything is so different now.  You can’t celebrate one person’s accomplishments without acknowledging every last tidbit everyone else did.  I’m here to tell you sweetheart, that you need to grow up.  You’ll have to be tougher than that if you want to be a strong, independent individual.  Being coddled that way isn’t teaching you anything other than to feel entitled.  The bad news is-The world doesn’t owe you a thing, okay?  

Recently, I was on Facebook, swiftly reading through posts and I came across one that caught my attention.  A young woman was on a tangent about how no one she knew ever liked pictures of her and her husband, she continued on about how she speculated this was probably due to jealousy.  Jealousy?  What if people weren’t on Facebook that day, or use automated posting apps like I do?  I seldomly have time to get on and actually read posts.  Most of my stuff is auto scheduled a month out.  Besides, why did people have to comment or like these posts?  Was she waiting on people to celebrate a picture she’d shared?   Naturally, my mind wandered the more I read on this….I forgot to like it and comment.. but that’s neither here nor there. 

As my oldest I hope I’ve instilled in you the caliber of my very pungently strong being so that you don’t feel you have to rely on the amounts of likes and comments left on social media platforms as a means of validity for anything.  You my dear, should know your worth and what you bring to the table.  Never wait for anyone to celebrate anything for you as a means of definition as to who or what you are or what your happiest moments mean to you.  Remember what I always say, it’s quality over quantity. I’d rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies when it comes to the people I surround myself with.  I thought about this young lady and her post for several days, I began to think maybe she felt entitled to have people falling all over themselves to compliment her and comment and like what she was sharing.  I’m supposing no one ever explained to her that someone else’s opinions shouldn’t matter to her so long as she’s happy.  As I delved deeper in thought I came to the conclusion that only a person wearing a mask would care what anyone else thinks.  When you’re truly happy with yourself and what you’ve accomplished is someone else’s happiness for you really that relevant to your being?  Is that what you’re going to allow to gauge your overall happiness?   

Gloria Steinem Quote

I guess your old lady could be wrong where this young woman is concerned, I mean I’m no expert.  I’m just an over analytical fart.  In essence what I’m saying is, thank you for listening when we talk to you.  I hope you never change.  My hopes for you are that you continue to march to the beat of your own drum.  You’ve taken risks in competitions at school that ultimately would’ve scared the bejeezus out of me, and that makes me proud of you.  You’ve never stopped to check and see if the world is going to applaud you.  That thrills me because the world doesn’t stop to applaud you.  It doesn’t have to.  You’re doing what makes you proud and happy.  You’re not stopping to look around to see who’s watching.  You’re only stopping to help others along the way.  That’s a sign of a flourishing young woman.  Your self reliance and self confidence are shaping you each and every day and they change and grow with you.  Continue on with your balance of confidence and humility.  Stay hungry, stay focused, stay humble. 

Love, 

Mom

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Mean What You Say

I don’t make enemies, it’s just I’m not afraid to speak my mind, which can sometimes mean people don’t like what I am saying. –Alan Sugar

Shut Your Mouth

Am I the only one who’s so doggone tired of people not saying what they mean and not not meaning what they say?  Just spit it out already.  I’m not a mealy mouthed woman, obviously.  If I have a questions, I’ll ask. If I don’t like something I’ll let you know and if I disagree I’ll explain why. 

I don’t understand this whole cat and mouse game of words. It’s a contemptuous game of word play in all honesty.  If  you’re upset about what someone said or did and passive aggressively handle it or indirectly address it how can you expect the other party to ever know?  Let me be the first to tell you that, that method of communication is for the birds.  You’ve gotta take the bull by the horns and say what you’ve got to say; and mean what you say.  

If you’re upset, take some time to sort out your thoughts.  Take the emotion out of it so that you’re not making rash decisions based on emotions.  (Ladies, we do this a lot). 

  • Make sure you’re not making a mountain out of a molehill. 
  • Keep your word.
  • Listen.
  • Be honest, not ugly. There is a difference. 
  • Remember in being honest, not everyone will like what you have to say.  

It’s okay if you have a difference of opinion.   Being agreeable doesn’t make you more likeable.  You’re feelings matter too. You don’t have to hide the way you feel to appease anyone.  Speaking up isn’t always easy but it’s always best. 

–Hiding how you really feel and trying to make everyone happy doesn’t make you nice, it just makes you a liar. –Jenny O’Connell, The Book of Luke

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30 Lessons Life Has Taught Me: Things I’d Teach My Younger Self

  1. Speak up. Don’t stay quiet for the sake of argument. Be heard. Create boundaries that you don’t want others to cross.  

2. Alpha females don’t run in packs. I’ve often found myself alone. I usually don’t follow the crowd because I have my own things going on. I’ve learned that that’s okay.  

3. Don’t disclose every little detail. It can and will be used against you. 

4. Hard work doesn’t go unnoticed, laziness is noticed. Don’t stop when you’re tired, stop when you’re done. 

5. Save 20% of the money you earn from the time you begin working. Keep it in a savings or money market account solely under your name. 

6. When you graduate from high school go directly into a trade school of sorts and develop a trade while you work through college. Maintain any licensure you’ve gained, you’ll be happy you did in the long run. 

7. Not everyone who’s nice to you is your friend. 

8. Separate your professional life from your personal one. There should always be a thin veil between the two. Allow glimpses in, but never intertwine the two.

9. Dress for the life you want. Not just the job you want. I’m not saying you have to strut around in high heels all day long. I’m saying don’t schlep around in pjs without make up because you will be treated according to what you project. You attract what you project. 

10. Struggles will come up, you have a choice. You can let them defeat you or motivate you. Know your limits but, strive to set records. 

11. Be careful who you choose to have children with. This person will forever be a part of your life whether it works out or not. If it doesn’t work out, they change, you change and it affects your children. 

12. Read a few psychology and body language books while you’re young. The lessons you’ll learn in reading these books will keep you a few steps ahead of the game your entire life. 

13. Sign language and a second language are always an amazing gift to possess. 

14. Take care of your body and your health. Trust me, by thirty that shit catches up to you. Make some time for yourself. 

15. When you get married, take time to nurture yourself and your relationship with your partner. You can’t let life and children take over. When all is said and done and the kids are gone, your partner is all you have left. Make sure you didn’t take each other for granted and you stay best friends.

Have No Fear
 

16. Let go of people and things that make you unhappy. Laughter really is the best medicine. 
17. Take up a hobby. Shopping is not a hobby. 

18. Do some volunteer work, it’ll make you really appreciative of what you have. 

19. Don’t buy things you don’t need. 

20. Get rid of it if you don’t use it, it doesn’t fit or if it hasn’t been worn in the last 6 months. Buy staples of clothing, not things that are trendy. 

21. If you become a mother, don’t let it define you. You were an individual before you became a mother. It’s easy to let it consume you. 

22. Takers take, and haters hate. You can’t change people, so don’t try to.  You either take them as they are or move forward. 

24. Pay it forward.  Acts 20:35 It is more blessed to give than to receive.  

25. Be understanding of parents.  Parenting doesn’t come with a manual.  Doling out advice and judgment is easy when you don’t have children of your own. Remember the old rule of different strokes for different folks. If you are a parent, maybe you lucked out with helping hands and great children. They’re not all the same and we’re not all the same. What worked for you may not work for someone else. 

26. Respect Mother Nature

27. Enjoy some time unplugged from gadgets, phones and computers. 

28. Don’t take things too personally, it’s not always about you. 

29. Old ways don’t open new doors.  If it was easy it would come with instructions.  

30. You can either get up or give up. You always have a choice. Just make sure you can live with the choice you made. 

Walking away
~~I can’t decide whether I’m a good girl wrapped up in a bad girl, or if I’m a bad girl wrapped up in a good girl. And that’s how I know I’m a woman!
C. JoyBell C.

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Manic Monday: Time’s A Wasting 

Another Manic Monday’s Thoughts: Don’t Waste Energy. I know it’s been a while since I’ve written anything on Manic Monday’s thoughts. I’ve had so much on my mind lately it’s been hard to organize my thoughts and pick ONE thing to write about.  This is one of my favorites from 100 Days Happier: So many of life’s eventualities are beyond your control. Work out what things you can influence and come to a peaceful acceptance of the rest.
Don’t waste your energy
 Sometimes everything will go your way and on other days nothing at all seems to go right. If you are having one of those days, instead of wasting your energy raging against something you can’t control, take a deep breath and accept it. That way, even though the moment may be ruined, your day won’t have to be.
This has struck quite a chord with me lately. I’ve been witness to someone being so crude and ruthless, arrogant, vengeful, negligent, spiteful and hateful all at the same time it’s made me wonder how they manage to get through their day without having a massive coronary. I pray for you and your family. I feel like you need it the most. You need peace. You need to breathe and let go and live. What good is life if you’re merely existing and not living? Life is short, really short for some of us, wouldn’t you rather live it happily?   

I want to leave this earth and I want the girls to remember that although I was hard on them I was hard on them in a way that was pushing them to do and be their absolute best. I want them to remember that it was fun to color outside of the lines and letting the music move us instead of moving to the music. I want them to remember the spontaneous road trips we always took, I want them to remember fishing trips and treading through knee high waters and plucking ticks off our bellies from walking in the woods. I want them to remember me laughing because their grandpa drove me crazy. I want them to remember the stories their grandma’s and great grandma’s had to tell about us. I want to leave my mark on this earth so that these girls know what their parents were made of. Love, laughter and full of LIFE! 
  
There’ll be two dates on your tombstone and all your friends will read ’em but all that’s gonna matter is that little dash between ’em. ~ Kevin Welch

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The Secrets Of Women Revealed 

  *Disclaimer like the famous Will Rogers once said “There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.”  I am by no means an expert on the inner workings of every woman. However I am a woman and I know that my husband struggles to understand me. I don’t speak for all women I only speak for the vast majority that I have come to know and understand to be friends of mine.  We like to sit and compare notes with one another on our down time because we have nothing better to do.  To the gentlemen reading this blog today, I’d like to make you aware that this may or may not be of use to you.  May God be on your side, good luck.

Me & Mrs Pacheco
Gruesome Twosome

Lesson 101: Men Feeling Like They Can’t Make Us Happy 

  • It’s not that you can’t make us happy it’s that you don’t listen and that makes us unhappy.  Believe it or not, we are delicate flowers, we only bite when we have to. 

Lesson 102: Asking What’s Taking So Long

  • Have you ever tried to shower, brush your teeth or even pee much less get dressed while being interrupted every 20 seconds only to stop what you’re doing to go help 4 members of your family look for shoes, belts, a shirt, a coat, shampoo, toothpaste, or a tie you’ve asked them to put away a gazillion times?  Try it. See how far you get and let us know if you didn’t forget to apply mascara or shave a leg. 

Lesson 103: You Think The Grass Is Greener On The Other Side

  • We’re all the same.  We all expect the same consideration we give.  If you believe otherwise you’ve got about as much chance as a one-legged man in an ass-kickin’ contest  at winning that one. 

Lesson 104: Make Us Swoon

  • Yes we want to continue to be wooed, not smothered but a little romance is nice.  Hold our hands but don’t invade our 18 inches of space it gets too hot. We’re older now, gotta mind those flashes. 
  • It’s only okay if we spoon you, your legs are heavy, you can’t spoon us. 

Lesson 105:  Make Us Laugh

  • Make us laugh but don’t be stupid or obnoxious, we’ll cut you. 

Lesson 106: Never Begin Any Sentence With My Mother….

  • We’ll make sure that’s where you end up. 

Lesson 107: Pay Close Attention To Detail 

  • This is and will always be your greatest investment.  Catch every little minuscule mention of something we love or of something we had as a child that meant the world to us. You’ll never go wrong as long you don’t get it wrong. Now if you bring home a gift your very first girlfriend mentioned she’d love to have…well, that’s goin’ over like a fart in church.  You better give your heart to Jesus, ’cause your ass is grass. 

Lesson 108: Learn What Each Traditional Anniversary Gift Should Be 

    • But don’t take this too literally. For example, at the fifth year it’s wood, or silverware. The colors are blue, pink and turquoise and the gemstone is sapphire.  Alternative gemstones are rose quartz, pink tourmaline and turquoise.  Don’t come home with a pile of wood or a package of silverware. Put some romantic thought into it.  Explain why you chose a particular gift.  And absolutely never have another woman help you choose a gift because there’s no fool like an old fool!

    Lesson 109: Take Genuine Interest In What We Do

    • Give us tips but don’t tell us how to do it unless we ask you to. 

    Lesson 110: Love Our Changing Bodies

    • We’re hardest on ourselves.  We’re afraid of the younger dumber models out there.  Genuinely compliment us.  Don’t overkill it, just mean it. 

    We need people in our lives with whom we can be as open as possible. To have real conversations with people may seem like such a simple, obvious suggestion, but it involves courage and risk. -Thomas Moore

        The ordinary acts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest. -Thomas Moore

        To my husband Mario, thank you for always listening even though you’re hard of hearing.  Although you know I run a tight ship at home you’ve always managed to reign me in when I’ve been running’ around like a chicken with my head cut off.  Thank you for always supporting me and my crazy ideas and going with the flow.  Thank you for trying your hardest to keep me happy when I’m not even sure what I want.  Your effort, humility and sense of humor when all is up in arms is greatly appreciated.  Even though the timing of your sexual nuances can sometimes make my eye twitch you somehow manage to make me laugh.  Thank you very much for never buying me household appliances for Birthday or Anniversary gifts and for never saying “Well, my mom..” I knew you were a keeper.  Thank you for using that big brain of yours for other things than just sex and football.  Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  To many more years. Happy Anniversary my love. 

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        My Little Texas Tornadoes 

        Kids are the best. Being a mom to a teenager and a toddler can only be described as the perfect combination of wanting to snuggle and understanding why some animals eat their young. Balance. Life is all about balance right? 

        We recently took my Mom in law and family to Fredericksburg, Tx. They’d never been and we decided to go at the spur of the moment. 

        The family members without kids enjoyed wine and beer tastings, I got to visit all of the children’s boutiques and could only window shop from 30 feet away for fear that my toddler had suddenly developed the ability to cut glass with her fingernails and melt fudge with the same eyes she uses to try to burn holes into me. 

        Her first chocolate crush

        So we swung by the candy shop because it’s frowned upon to always be the bad cop and outside they had a life sized M&M and a bench with lollipops attached with cut outs for your face. I said to my oldest “let’s take your picture!” She ran over and put her face in the hole. Then my little one ran towards the bench and  climbed up to sit in it. I said to her “Pumpkin, why don’t you put your face in the hole too?” 

        I spy a little Texas Tornado
         

        Apparently the one time she decided to listen I wasn’t specific enough.  I got some flack from people on Facebook for this.  Just some good old fashioned fun and teasing. I was thrilled she’d even followed through with my request that I didn’t care which way she was facing.  But I did get quite the tickle out of this. She’s quite the smart ass.  

        I’m sure she’s looking at the camera and smiling on the inside
        Remember these?
        Chocolate covered bacon
        Chocolate covered jalapeños & chocolate covered pickles
        My little Texas tornadoes

        It was a fun trip, my two Texas tornadoes. One testing her wind strength and the other doing all the damage possible whether her winds are strong or not. Two completely separate storms that come together to reign my powers of motherhood in and make me laugh at the fact that they have my snarky personality. I’m fighting my own reflection.  

        When the lights go down in the city
        “When God Created Mothers”

        When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of “overtime” when the angel appeared and said. “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.” 

        And God said, “Have you read the specs on this order?” She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts…all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands.” 

        The angel shook her head slowly and said. “Six pairs of hands…. no way.” 

        “It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” God remarked, “it’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.” 

        “That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel. 

        God nodded. “One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, ‘What are you kids doing in there?’ when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. ‘I understand and I love you’ without so much as uttering a word. 

        “God,” said the angel touching his sleeve gently, “Get some rest tomorrow….”

        “I can’t,” said God, “I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick…can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger…and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower.” 

        The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. “It’s too soft,” she sighed. 

        “But tough!” said God excitedly. “You can imagine what this mother can do or endure.”

        “Can it think?” 

        “Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise,” said the Creator. 

        Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. “There’s a leak,”she pronounced. “I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model.”

        “It’s not a leak,” said the Lord, “It’s a tear.”

        ” What’s it for? ” 

        “It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride.”

        “You are a genius, ” said the angel. 

        Somberly, God said, “I didn’t put it there.” 

        ― Erma Bombeck, When God Created Mothers

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        Exchanges Of Energy: 

        I’ve been a licensed massage therapist for ten years now. In the beginning of my ten year journey energy work was not something I believed in. I was always aware that an exchange of energy occurred I just wasn’t paying much attention to it. My focus was on fixing things. 
        I loved the clinical side of massage. I loved seeing physical changes of manual manipulation of muscle tissue and fascia. I lived to see and hear what my clients felt and how I’d helped them regain strength and range of motion.  
        Although, I still love the clinical aspect of massage and what I bring to a persons life, I’ve learned that there is a special exchange of energy taking place through massage, through touch at all times. Whether it’s good or bad, exhilarating or draining its occurring. 
        When I was attending massage therapy school they had a prayer posted on the wall. It read, May all my clients feel God’s healing touch through my hands. It was something I never forgot, and continue to repeat to myself and over every client that I lay my hands on.
          I never ask whether or not they believe, I just say my prayer and sync my breathing along with theirs, I listen to the music and let their bodies talk to me and let me know what they need from me. I watch for nonverbal cues, fingers curling, breathing, muscle tension, fidgeting, etc…and make adjustments accordingly.

        Power Of Touch

        Recently, I was telling my husband that I’ve noticed a greater ability to communicate with clients nonverbally. I couldn’t put into words so I related an experience I’d had that day. 
        While working on a woman earlier that day, I could tell it had been a long time since she’d done anything nice for herself. She’d mentioned she was visiting with a friend who was going to be moving away. As I began the massage, I could sense she was going through a difficult time. Of course I didn’t say anything, I did what I always do, I said my prayer, I asked that she feel God’s healing touch through my hands and that she let whatever she was holding onto melt onto the table warmer and allow herself to open up and breathe. As I worked my way through her back, neck and shoulders I could feel it happening, I prayed my thanks. Suddenly, I heard the emotional release, a quiet sob, I kept working thankful she was letting go. By the time I finished with her fingertips of her second hand she said through a quiet sob “I don’t know how, but, you’ve changed my life. I felt it. I don’t know what you did, but, you have. I feel different. It’s a good change, I can feel it, what did you do?” I told her “I prayed you’d feel God’s healing touch through my hands, and that you’d let your stresses melt here and stay here.” Silence ensued by another quiet sob from time to time. By the time I was done, she looked different. Happier. Fulfilled. Changed. I knew she was going to be taking better care of herself. 

        Touch & Memory, Muscle Memory

        My hubby didn’t find it as hard to believe as I’d imagined. I’ve given him massages where he’s asked me what I’ve done differently or he’s said things like “That one was nurturing to the soul.” 
        I suppose I’m sharing this because I feel more attuned with myself, in essence harmonizing my energy has really assisted in the quality of nonverbal correspondence between me and my clients. Cultivating that exchange has also proven to be a very valuable and fulfilling experience for me as well and has added so much more of a satisfying productiveness to my days. 
        I love what I do. I always have. I love learning new techniques and incorporating them into different services based on a clients needs. It’s the ability we have as people to correspond with each other that has truly fascinated me. The transmission and exchange of energies that occurs in such an intimate setting and being allowed in to rejuvenate, restore and rehabilitate someone is something that brings me so much peace and gratification.  

        Reasons To Get Regular Massages

        • To improve your overall quality of life
        • Helps with depression & anxiety 
        • Helps with pain management 
        • Improves circulation 
        • Decreases and helps with stress
        • Improves range of motion & flexibility 
        • Enhances the bodies immunity 
        • Reduces cramping & spasms
        • Reduces migraine pain
        • Enhances sleep quality
        • Helps with post operative adhesions 
        • Helps with swelling 
        • Helps with back pain & muscle injury 
        • Stretch over used muscles
        • Lowers blood pressure 
        • Calms the nervous system
        • Increases tissue regeneration 
        • Improves red blood cell count
        • Decreases muscle deterioration 
        • Improves muscle tone
        • Improves posture
        • Reduces mental stress 
        • Provides a sense of health & well being. 

        Words to Inspire My Fellow Therapists

        • Often the hands will solve a mystery that the intellect has struggled with in vain. ~Carl Jung
        • Where the spirit does not work with the hand, there is no art. ~Leonardo da Vinci
        • A really intelligent man feels what other men only know. ~Baron de Montesquieu
        • Healing yourself is connected with healing others. ~ Yoko Ono
        • Our bodies communicate to us clearly and specifically, if we are willing to listen. ~Shakti Gawain
        • The real purpose of giving massage is to foster more depth of feeling for one another in order to bring out the love that often lies buried beneath the pain of everyday suffering.  ~Robert Calvert
        • On one level, massage actually has little to do with muscles and joints and hands and backs. It has to do with the person inside the body giving the massage and the person inside getting the massage. The real massage is the transmission of a message from the giver to the receiver and back again: and that message is likely to contain elements of gratitude, understanding, compassion and shared awareness.~ Steve Capellini 
        • The intention of touch is to create a therapeutic physiological event in the tissues of the patient, and the rationale underlying the technique is physiological, kinetic or mechanical in nature. From the patient’s point of view, the touch has its roots in non-verbal communication or communion. She does not experience the touch as merely a technique or procedure on her body tissues, it involves her self. She is being held, cradled, stroked, caressed, valued, cared-for, healed. The patient’s experience is above all a psychological and existential one. ~ Bevis Nathan
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        Freaky Friday 


        Don’t you just love the way men think? I wish I’d been blessed with a one track mind that solves everything with sex.  Unfortunately, I came out an over analytical, neurotic, Type A, worry wart whose last concern is with sex when it comes to problem solving. 

        This is an ode to my husband, who finds the best way to get to the root of a problem and find resolution is through sex.  I don’t know how he does it! He’s able to find the humor and perfect timing to make his pitch for sex at any God given moment. He’s slick about it too. His come hither eyes seem to be turned on as he so eloquently makes his case. That’s a gift ladies! A true marksman that never misses his target. 

        How is it he was given this gift of charismatic charm that works in his favor every time? I feel like I’m so far behind him on this subject.  For example, Today, he came home from work, our little one had a bit of a rough day. As I was explaining all the things that had gone awry today he says to me, with full confidence in his voice and his playful yet understanding tone “You know, it’s Friday the 13th today. Maybe we should join her and let ‘Freaky Friday’ work it’s devilishness on us. That way she’s not the only one afraid of things going thump in the night.”

        I started cracking up. I could’ve died laughing. He was serious too. He made his plea for sex. He’ll get it too. He always does.  

        There are days when I feel I’ve lost my sense of humor and then he comes at me with his sexual innuendos and all worry dissolves bringing me back down to Earth. He’s right, I’m just being mom.

        So to my dearest,  I’m sorry it feels likes this for you. 

              

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        Toddlers: Untamed Hearts

        I’ve been told many times that my life should be recorded, or that I should do stand up comedy. Hardy-har-har. Probably because the joke’s always on me right? So, I’ve mentioned a few times that both of my girls have my wild untamed heart. It’s true. They’re both wild in their own ways as am I. But my little one, oh boy is she giving me a run for my money. You know, I haven’t quite figured out why I’m being punished. 

        My mom tells me I was a good girl. Excellent in fact. I ate everything she made me, even told her what a great cook she was, I spoke in clear complete sentences by the time I was a year old. I took my naps, I was early to rise and early to go to bed. My kindergarten teacher Mrs. Stephenson told my mom I was the best napper in class. I was a bit of an over achiever if you ask me. 

        My little one on the other hand is on a mission from God (I believe this to be true with all my heart) to allow me the opportunity to test my better judgement or just straight up see if I can live the rest of my life in martyrdom. 
        Anyway, we were out buying some scratch off lottery tickets a few weeks ago. It was a warm Texas day. I was wearing my green cropped muumuu. So it wasn’t an ankle grazing one but cut to the length of the knees. My little one has had a love-hate thing going on with Disney’s Frozen. On this particular day she was loving it. She was singing and swaying the back of my dress from side to side as we waited in line. Despite my many pleads to get her to stop playing with my dress, she continued to ignore my requests and sing. As I got to the counter and I finished paying she was simultaneously ending her rendition of Queen Elsa singing Let it go; Coming to a close while belting out “The cold never bothered me anyway” she made her grand finale by lifting my dress over her head and shoulders exposing my granny panties to everyone waiting in line behind me. 


        This would’ve been livable if I had great legs or nice rump. In my mind it should’ve played out like the woman pictured above. 
        Instead, as I swatted my hand onto my dress to clamp it down and hide my granny panties, whilst speaking through gritted teeth and telling her we were leaving. I turned to face this. 

        The cashier stood frozen, hand covering her mouth and the woman in line behind me shut her eyes and began nodding her head side to side keeping her lips tucked into a tight line where she was fighting off the laughter that was threatening to bust out if she took one look at me. 

        I quickly bustled towards the door with my little one close behind and as I reached up to push it open my little one had taken a few steps back into the convenience store to eyeball some hotdogs and announce she was now hungry. I had no choice but to look back and face the people I was so desperately trying to leave behind. 

        All I could see was the line of people behind me staring and laughing hysterically. Thanks Pumpkin. Nothing on earth is quite as exciting or humbling as being your mom. 

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