Am I the only person that thinks girls can be unusually cruel and vicious?
During difficult times women can be the greatest pillars of strength known to mankind and by the same token girls can be incredibly mean and catty.
There’s the key difference. There are girls and there are women. I’ve written on this topic before on a previous blog that’s now gone private. For now, let’s elaborate a little bit more on this subject. There are crucial differences between the two.
Women empower other women and feel empowered by doing so. Lifting each other up during difficult times and helping each other grow. Even if it means the apprentice surpasses the instructor. As a means of thanks and gratitude the apprentice in turn empowers the instructor by teaching them what they’ve grown to learn. There by empowering each other. This is an exemplary show of growth, maturity, gratitude and womanhood.
A girl will berate, belittle and possibly hold another friend or colleague back out of fear of being surpassed in knowledge and accomplishment. Rather than help accomplish goals or encourage another friend, insecurities arise and take over and quickly dispel any probability of a flourishing, mature and thriving friendship or relationship.
Studies across the world have been done regarding this very subject. The most absolute and root cause…insecurity. It’s them. Not you. Interestingly enough, many of the fights that ensue are brought on by the insecure girl having an inner struggle with herself and seldom has anything to do with you personally. If a grown woman is responsible for the sabotaging it’s due to her lack of ever having identified her own personal weaknesses and addressing them. Therefore she behaves like the mean high school girl who gets her rocks off belittling the girl that’s capable of expression and showing emotion. A warped sense of self comes into play here. The fun house mirror that they’re looking into that makes them look and feel tall although on the inside they’re small and scared.
The road to hell was paved with the bones of men who did not know when to quit fighting.
Paulette Jiles, Enemy Women
My question is how are we as women able to identify if we’re guilty of this behavior ourselves? Well, let’s think a little bit. For the most part, we’ve all been the mean girl. Whether it happened early on in adolescence or later on as we came to mesh with others in our close circles, maybe you were mean to a sibling. We’ve experienced the torture or been the torturer. It’s not hard to identify, the hardest part is admitting to ourselves we’re guilty of it. We know what it’s like. We are vicious, unrelenting when we’re really mad or hurt.
Whenever you are confronted with an opponent. Conquer him with love.