Exchanges Of Energy: 

I’ve been a licensed massage therapist for ten years now. In the beginning of my ten year journey energy work was not something I believed in. I was always aware that an exchange of energy occurred I just wasn’t paying much attention to it. My focus was on fixing things. 
I loved the clinical side of massage. I loved seeing physical changes of manual manipulation of muscle tissue and fascia. I lived to see and hear what my clients felt and how I’d helped them regain strength and range of motion.  
Although, I still love the clinical aspect of massage and what I bring to a persons life, I’ve learned that there is a special exchange of energy taking place through massage, through touch at all times. Whether it’s good or bad, exhilarating or draining its occurring. 
When I was attending massage therapy school they had a prayer posted on the wall. It read, May all my clients feel God’s healing touch through my hands. It was something I never forgot, and continue to repeat to myself and over every client that I lay my hands on.
  I never ask whether or not they believe, I just say my prayer and sync my breathing along with theirs, I listen to the music and let their bodies talk to me and let me know what they need from me. I watch for nonverbal cues, fingers curling, breathing, muscle tension, fidgeting, etc…and make adjustments accordingly.

Power Of Touch

Recently, I was telling my husband that I’ve noticed a greater ability to communicate with clients nonverbally. I couldn’t put into words so I related an experience I’d had that day. 
While working on a woman earlier that day, I could tell it had been a long time since she’d done anything nice for herself. She’d mentioned she was visiting with a friend who was going to be moving away. As I began the massage, I could sense she was going through a difficult time. Of course I didn’t say anything, I did what I always do, I said my prayer, I asked that she feel God’s healing touch through my hands and that she let whatever she was holding onto melt onto the table warmer and allow herself to open up and breathe. As I worked my way through her back, neck and shoulders I could feel it happening, I prayed my thanks. Suddenly, I heard the emotional release, a quiet sob, I kept working thankful she was letting go. By the time I finished with her fingertips of her second hand she said through a quiet sob “I don’t know how, but, you’ve changed my life. I felt it. I don’t know what you did, but, you have. I feel different. It’s a good change, I can feel it, what did you do?” I told her “I prayed you’d feel God’s healing touch through my hands, and that you’d let your stresses melt here and stay here.” Silence ensued by another quiet sob from time to time. By the time I was done, she looked different. Happier. Fulfilled. Changed. I knew she was going to be taking better care of herself. 

Touch & Memory, Muscle Memory

My hubby didn’t find it as hard to believe as I’d imagined. I’ve given him massages where he’s asked me what I’ve done differently or he’s said things like “That one was nurturing to the soul.” 
I suppose I’m sharing this because I feel more attuned with myself, in essence harmonizing my energy has really assisted in the quality of nonverbal correspondence between me and my clients. Cultivating that exchange has also proven to be a very valuable and fulfilling experience for me as well and has added so much more of a satisfying productiveness to my days. 
I love what I do. I always have. I love learning new techniques and incorporating them into different services based on a clients needs. It’s the ability we have as people to correspond with each other that has truly fascinated me. The transmission and exchange of energies that occurs in such an intimate setting and being allowed in to rejuvenate, restore and rehabilitate someone is something that brings me so much peace and gratification.  

Reasons To Get Regular Massages

  • To improve your overall quality of life
  • Helps with depression & anxiety 
  • Helps with pain management 
  • Improves circulation 
  • Decreases and helps with stress
  • Improves range of motion & flexibility 
  • Enhances the bodies immunity 
  • Reduces cramping & spasms
  • Reduces migraine pain
  • Enhances sleep quality
  • Helps with post operative adhesions 
  • Helps with swelling 
  • Helps with back pain & muscle injury 
  • Stretch over used muscles
  • Lowers blood pressure 
  • Calms the nervous system
  • Increases tissue regeneration 
  • Improves red blood cell count
  • Decreases muscle deterioration 
  • Improves muscle tone
  • Improves posture
  • Reduces mental stress 
  • Provides a sense of health & well being. 

Words to Inspire My Fellow Therapists

  • Often the hands will solve a mystery that the intellect has struggled with in vain. ~Carl Jung
  • Where the spirit does not work with the hand, there is no art. ~Leonardo da Vinci
  • A really intelligent man feels what other men only know. ~Baron de Montesquieu
  • Healing yourself is connected with healing others. ~ Yoko Ono
  • Our bodies communicate to us clearly and specifically, if we are willing to listen. ~Shakti Gawain
  • The real purpose of giving massage is to foster more depth of feeling for one another in order to bring out the love that often lies buried beneath the pain of everyday suffering.  ~Robert Calvert
  • On one level, massage actually has little to do with muscles and joints and hands and backs. It has to do with the person inside the body giving the massage and the person inside getting the massage. The real massage is the transmission of a message from the giver to the receiver and back again: and that message is likely to contain elements of gratitude, understanding, compassion and shared awareness.~ Steve Capellini 
  • The intention of touch is to create a therapeutic physiological event in the tissues of the patient, and the rationale underlying the technique is physiological, kinetic or mechanical in nature. From the patient’s point of view, the touch has its roots in non-verbal communication or communion. She does not experience the touch as merely a technique or procedure on her body tissues, it involves her self. She is being held, cradled, stroked, caressed, valued, cared-for, healed. The patient’s experience is above all a psychological and existential one. ~ Bevis Nathan
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2016 Goodbye & Good Riddance

Hello everyone, I want to start out by wishing everyone a happy new year. 2016 was no joke. I’m happy to have spent the last of the year in my sexiest pair of sweatpants after having had a massage letting 2016 melt away.

I’m not sure what 2016 was like for you all, but it was a doozy for me. I apologize for the long hiatus. 2016 was a huge year of growth, reflection and reform for me and my personal life. I felt much of what was going on was happening so quickly that before I’d even had time to process what had just happened something else was happening.  As an eye twitching control freak that likes her home a certain way and expects the same courtesies she gives, seeing things unravel and not having the celestial godlike abilities to control other people’s actions, I had to let go of many things and many people, mainly I had to let go of a part of myself.


I’m not saying I get my rocks off by being in control.  What I’m saying is I’m vocal about what I expect because I give everything I do 110%.  I don’t half ass anything I do, I do expect the same in return and I don’t expect anyone to give me anything, I’d much rather attain material things myself. (I love working and it brings me a certain je ne sais quoi. A discerning wakefulness of being alive.)

What 2016 taught me was that I was surrounded by people that did want things given to them and were okay doing things half assed and I was not okay with this.  Not, spiritually, not emotionally, not mentally, not even physically.  Mediocrity, is not okay with me. Not in what a person has to give, emotionally, spiritually, you name it. I’m not okay with mediocre love, mediocre effort, that whole “Meh, I tried” attitude, doesn’t cut it for me.

In an eye opening conversation with my bestie over the new year and it’s presumptuous promises of a healthier lifestyle and mending broken fences etc..it occurred to me that I’d never made any resolutions.

I suppose in my own way I’ve made private resolutions to myself and I’d decided on them way before 2016 was long gone.

Lessons I’ve Learned although they seem to be highly repetitious in many Pinterest posts and quotes, they’d never seemed to resonate with me until I was under fire. Relate, yes, but resonate down to my core? No.

  • If I was forgiven, I needed to forgive myself.
  • If I forgave myself, I needed to move forward. Not wallow.
  • If I was a crappy girl, I could be a better woman.
  • If I was a crappy daughter, I could be a better sister, mother, niece, cousin, granddaughter etc..
  • Change is possible, for those who want it.
  • In my darkest hours, I was stronger than I thought possible.
  • I am looking for peace.
  • I am not afraid to be alone.
  • I’ve taught my daughters more than I knew.
  • I’m actually proud of myself.
  • Even in moments of complete despair, I could make light of a dark situation.
  • My middle name should’ve been Misunderstood
  • My spirit remains wild and untamed.
  • My girls have my untamed heart.
  • My strength comes from my mom.
  • I am forgiving. Sometimes too forgiving.
  • I am hardest on myself.
  • Resignation is not a word my body copes with well either mentally or physically.
  • My heart is calloused in certain aspects.
  • I don’t want to share certain things anymore.
  • Silence is golden.
  • Self honesty is freedom.
  • The key to happiness is gratitude.
  • Taking time to heal is imperative.
  • Make time for yourself.  Your health is wealth. You only get one body. Take care of it.

Thanks for the lessons 2016, I’ll make sure not to take them in stride. I can’t say I’m sad to see you go. You were rough on me. Now, onward and upward!

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Beautifully Imperfect

I’m writing this today because tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.  Mario, read it as is!

Dear Friends and Family, I’m writing my own eulogy today because I want you to know that this day should be a celebration of my life.  I want to journal what I want to be said.  I don’t want anyone of you to be sad, or mad.  Like Winston Churchill said

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

To my sugar bug (Lizard): When you were born I vowed I was going to spend the rest of my life teaching you what life was about.  As luck would have it, it was you that taught me more.  I never dreamt  that what felt like a hefty 9 pound sack of  potatoes was capable of turning my life around.  That’s right my love.  You were 9 pounds of pure perfection.  Don’t get me wrong, you literally tore me a new one the day you were born.  Nonetheless, I forgave you for that.  Although I had to keep reminding myself that you were a blessing every time I sat down to pee and just FYI, I didn’t poop for two weeks because I was afraid it’d be worse than pushing you through my birth canal.  Sugar, I want you to celebrate our lives together.  I want you to remember all of the moments we shared and all of the lessons I taught you.

When you were 5 years old, I asked you to clean your room.  I walked by to check on your status and I saw you kicking your toys under the bed.  Seeing that just chapped my ass.  I thought to myself: what an ungrateful child I’ve created.  So angrily, I walked into your room with a large black lawn trash bag and I made you dig every little toy out and we pieced them all together and put them into their boxes and bags.  When you asked me what we were doing, I told you we were donating your toys to the less fortunate.  I told you never to ask me to buy you another toy again because you had no idea how hard I’d worked to give you everything only to have you kick my sweat under your bed.  I stuck to my word, we donated your toys and I never bought you another.  You were allowed books, crafts and movies.  I know it seems cruel.  I was angry and I was going to teach you a lesson you wouldn’t forget.  And you know what?  You learned.  About a year later you were visiting Mamita and Papito for a week in Cotulla.  When you met the next door neighbor’s daughter Lupita, you called me and asked me to pick you up.  I picked you up and when we got home you packed up the vast majority of your clothes,toys and dress up clothes that you’d collected from birthday and holiday gifts.  You gave them to Lupita.  I remember asking you if you were sure about what you were doing.  You said to me “Mom, if I don’t give this stuff to her, she’ll never have it.”                                                                               I knew at that precise moment your golden heart was way bigger than I’d ever imagined.                                                     I want you to remember that you taught me to be a bigger, better person, a better mother.

Emma (Punkin): Dear God, I knew I was getting two handfuls when I had you.  You were feisty even in the womb.  I remember when you had your first “boyfriend” Jeremy.  You two were inseparable.  Well at least up until he puked in front of you.  You were on a play date with ‘Pa , Jeremy and Jeremy’s grandma.  As you two strolled along hugging each other Jeremy suddenly threw up.  As Jeremy stood there crying and his grandma frantically tried to clean him up and calm him, you turned to ‘Pa and said while pinching your nose, “Eew. That smells!! ‘Pa take me home.  Bye Jeremy.”   My little Miss My way or the highway.  In a world where you can be anything.  Be kind, especially to your daddy and sister!

Mario, my love.  I will come back to haunt you like a raging poltergeist you’ve yet to see in one of your favorite scary movies if you don’t take care of yourself or the girls.  I don’t want you to be alone.  I want you to remarry if you find someone worthy of the blissful love you’ve given me.  Make sure you warn her that you’re kind of a pain and she’s gonna have to ride your ass like sea biscuit because let’s face it dear, that’s how I rolled.  By the way, if the girls don’t like her pay attention to that.  They’re telling you something.  And if they won’t tell you they don’t like her, I will 😈.

In all honesty, I really would like you to find a companion.  One that’s willing to wipe your ass if I’m not there to do it.  You may not return to an old flame.  Don’t be desperate.  She was a fucking twat waffle.  Besides, I’ll make your life fucking miserable even from beyond he grave.  I will not let you love them, because they couldn’t love you like you deserve.  Viejas panochudas!

My dad will probably still be around and she has to be willing to put up with all of you, as the family you are.

She has to have my strength Mario. She’s going to need it and so are you. You guys are a tough crowd. 😘 I’ll always love you. You were my everything.

“There was too much inside us. Maybe it was love or maybe it was something else. We had a light, a brilliance we tried so hard to ignore and all our faults had little significance to the story we were not willing to let go.”

Excerpt From: Robert M. Drake. “Beautiful Chaos.” Lulu.com, 2015. iBooks.

Remember to tell the girls all of the good, bad and the ugly about me, you know I always loved hearing you make fun of me with my double standards. Example: “Mario, we have to buckle down, we have to stop making these late runs to sonic!”

You: “Monica, you just said you were starving.”                                                                                                                           Me: “I really am hungry. I’m not talking about right now. But, yes in the future, stop me. Why are you going along with me?  Stop cooperating with me.”                                                                                                                                         You: “You said you were starving!”                                                                                                                                                     Me: “I’ll say anything for snacks. You have to know when I’m lying or not.  But, yes I really am hungry right now.  Not starving anymore, but I was when we left the house.”                                                                                                           You: mimicking me in a whiny voice “I’m starving. Let’s go to sonic!”

Remind them, like they can’t already tell that I was beautifully imperfect.  That my voice carried, I had a sailors mouth, I was always feisty, neurotic most of the time, extremely over analytical, high strung, total type A, sarcastic, brutally honest. Remind them that in all my craziness I was also very happy, considerate, caring, helpful, nurturing, a pretty good cook if I do say so myself, loving, funny, adventurous, and sympathetic.  Tell them all of the things I was, good and bad.  Keep me fresh in their minds.  And keep me fresh in my mothers and sisters minds too! I will not tolerate any of this moving in on my man shit! Babe, I’ll allow you to elaborate on this if you want.      Anyone tries anything funny and I’ll make sure all of you shit your pants. That’s a promise bitches!

“With open eyes, I see the world.  With an open heart I see the souls.  and with an open mind I see it all differently.”

Excerpt From: Robert M. Drake. “Beautiful Chaos.” Lulu.com, 2015. iBooks.

I will always be with you all as long as you keep my memory alive in your hearts.

“You will be the clouds and I will be the sky.  You will be the ocean and I will be the shore.  You will be the trees and I will be the wind.  You will be the stars and I will be the moon.  You will be the sunset and I will be the horizon.  Whatever we are, you and I will always, always collide.”

Excerpt From: Robert M. Drake. “Beautiful Chaos.” Lulu.com, 2015. iBooks.

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