There have been many times I’ve questioned why things happen the way they do. I suppose it’s my imperfections and selfishness as a human being that make me think this way and question these things. I wonder when it will be my turn, my family’s turn to reap the rewards of our sacrifices and hard work. I recently read something that hit me so hard I almost fell off my chair. It stung. When the reality of my absurdity hit me, a feeling of complete disregard for everything I’d been taught as young girl washed over me.
How shameful that I’d allowed myself to fall into such a shallow pond and begin drowning. When did I lose track of the many blessings I have? I gathered myself together for a quick prayer of thanks.
I sat and read this over and over again. In my case it’s more like I’m not where I want to be but thank God I’m not where I used to be.
I realized quickly that I’m right where I need to be. I’m learning. I’m still a work in progress. I realized how much I’ve grown, how much I’ve learned and continue to learn. And yes, Thank God I’m not where I used to be!
As we continue on our journey through life trying to be the best example for our children, guiding them, coaching them, preparing them, caring for them; even with our loved ones, spouses, parents, grandparents, friends. This is the greatest reward we could’ve been given. To have our family. They are my guiding light.
The rest is gravy. What does anything else matter? I have what money can’t buy. That makes me rich. And for that I am thankful.
Know that everything is in perfect order whether you understand it or not.
1. Speak up. Don’t stay quiet for the sake of argument. Be heard. Create boundaries that you don’t want others to cross.
2. Alpha females don’t run in packs. I’ve often found myself alone. I usually don’t follow the crowd because I have my own things going on. I’ve learned that that’s okay.
3. Don’t disclose every little detail. It can and will be used against you.
4. Hard work doesn’t go unnoticed, laziness is noticed. Don’t stop when you’re tired, stop when you’re done.
5. Save 20% of the money you earn from the time you begin working. Keep it in a savings or money market account solely under your name.
6. When you graduate from high school go directly into a trade school of sorts and develop a trade while you work through college. Maintain any licensure you’ve gained, you’ll be happy you did in the long run.
7. Not everyone who’s nice to you is your friend.
8. Separate your professional life from your personal one. There should always be a thin veil between the two. Allow glimpses in, but never intertwine the two.
9. Dress for the life you want. Not just the job you want. I’m not saying you have to strut around in high heels all day long. I’m saying don’t schlep around in pjs without make up because you will be treated according to what you project. You attract what you project.
10. Struggles will come up, you have a choice. You can let them defeat you or motivate you. Know your limits but, strive to set records.
11. Be careful who you choose to have children with. This person will forever be a part of your life whether it works out or not. If it doesn’t work out, they change, you change and it affects your children.
12. Read a few psychology and body language books while you’re young. The lessons you’ll learn in reading these books will keep you a few steps ahead of the game your entire life.
13. Sign language and a second language are always an amazing gift to possess.
14. Take care of your body and your health. Trust me, by thirty that shit catches up to you. Make some time for yourself.
15. When you get married, take time to nurture yourself and your relationship with your partner. You can’t let life and children take over. When all is said and done and the kids are gone, your partner is all you have left. Make sure you didn’t take each other for granted and you stay best friends.
16. Let go of people and things that make you unhappy. Laughter really is the best medicine.
17. Take up a hobby. Shopping is not a hobby.
18. Do some volunteer work, it’ll make you really appreciative of what you have.
19. Don’t buy things you don’t need.
20. Get rid of it if you don’t use it, it doesn’t fit or if it hasn’t been worn in the last 6 months. Buy staples of clothing, not things that are trendy.
21. If you become a mother, don’t let it define you. You were an individual before you became a mother. It’s easy to let it consume you.
22. Takers take, and haters hate. You can’t change people, so don’t try to. You either take them as they are or move forward.
24. Pay it forward. Acts 20:35 It is more blessed to give than to receive.
25. Be understanding of parents. Parenting doesn’t come with a manual. Doling out advice and judgment is easy when you don’t have children of your own. Remember the old rule of different strokes for different folks. If you are a parent, maybe you lucked out with helping hands and great children. They’re not all the same and we’re not all the same. What worked for you may not work for someone else.
26. Respect Mother Nature
27. Enjoy some time unplugged from gadgets, phones and computers.
28. Don’t take things too personally, it’s not always about you.
29. Old ways don’t open new doors. If it was easy it would come with instructions.
30. You can either get up or give up. You always have a choice. Just make sure you can live with the choice you made.
~~I can’t decide whether I’m a good girl wrapped up in a bad girl, or if I’m a bad girl wrapped up in a good girl. And that’s how I know I’m a woman!
C. JoyBell C.
Another Manic Monday’s Thoughts: Don’t Waste Energy. I know it’s been a while since I’ve written anything on Manic Monday’s thoughts. I’ve had so much on my mind lately it’s been hard to organize my thoughts and pick ONE thing to write about. This is one of my favorites from 100 Days Happier: So many of life’s eventualities are beyond your control. Work out what things you can influence and come to a peaceful acceptance of the rest.
Don’t waste your energy
Sometimes everything will go your way and on other days nothing at all seems to go right. If you are having one of those days, instead of wasting your energy raging against something you can’t control, take a deep breath and accept it. That way, even though the moment may be ruined, your day won’t have to be.
This has struck quite a chord with me lately. I’ve been witness to someone being so crude and ruthless, arrogant, vengeful, negligent, spiteful and hateful all at the same time it’s made me wonder how they manage to get through their day without having a massive coronary. I pray for you and your family. I feel like you need it the most. You need peace. You need to breathe and let go and live. What good is life if you’re merely existing and not living? Life is short, really short for some of us, wouldn’t you rather live it happily?
I want to leave this earth and I want the girls to remember that although I was hard on them I was hard on them in a way that was pushing them to do and be their absolute best. I want them to remember that it was fun to color outside of the lines and letting the music move us instead of moving to the music. I want them to remember the spontaneous road trips we always took, I want them to remember fishing trips and treading through knee high waters and plucking ticks off our bellies from walking in the woods. I want them to remember me laughing because their grandpa drove me crazy. I want them to remember the stories their grandma’s and great grandma’s had to tell about us. I want to leave my mark on this earth so that these girls know what their parents were made of. Love, laughter and full of LIFE!
There’ll be two dates on your tombstone and all your friends will read ’em but all that’s gonna matter is that little dash between ’em. ~ Kevin Welch